I'm back in Shah Alam. But who cares? Among all of the people in the city, would anyone even bother to look at me amidst the crowd? Say that I put it into a smaller scale, let's say of all the UiTM students now. I'm just an Asasi student, I'm no big shot of some sort, MPP or whatever. What about the people that I'm living with, people of Kolej Meranti where I currently reside? Heck, nobody would even look at my face, much more give salam among ourselves. And people that I do know, Asasi Teslians and my former schoolmates around here? Sometimes I really wonder whether they are feeling the same as I did for them

Yes, I'm a pessimistic person indeed, if that's what you are thinking

Home was not as its used to be. Perhaps for the fact that I'm at least a bit grown up now and can think for my own self, I can no longer regard my home as a nest to be a safe place. Now that I know of all the evils and demons that have been lingering my past, home can never be the place where I can sleep soundly as I'm used to. Kinda make me glad I can run off to somewhere, namely Shah Alam

But Shah Alam is no heaven too, afterall. People don't care about you, its the thing that you have to do for yourself. You can't depend on others, you will only open your back to be stabbed. And people LIE, people LIE, LIE, LIE, they LIE to you when they hate you and want you to go far away from them. They LIE so that you will get hurt and will forget about them, they don't care about how lonely you will be, they just hated you so much they don't care

Yes, I'm a pessimistic person indeed, if that's what you are thinking

So yeah, perhaps I'm as pessimistic, gloomy and depressed as Eeyore of Winnie the Pooh, eventhough I often potrays myself as the cheerful, outgoing and confident Tigger, especially in front of another Eeyore-like person. I don't know who I am anymore, why I even change myself for the sake of others who won't spend a minute thinking about me, I'm just so confused. Perhaps I'm a bit of both, a blend of Eeyore and Tigger, as farfetched as the idea is

I just wish you hadn't lied to me. Even if I do hate the rain, I'm a believer of rainbow after rain and the calming smell of its aftermath. How I wish it was all a mistake, and that somebody will tell me that it was pointless to write this all down here...

Aku hairan lah, setiap kali aku naik bas, ada ja masalah menimpa, tapi tiap kali itulah aku selalu duduk dengan orang2 yang baik2 belaka, hmmm...


  1. hei, mmg dlm hidup ni kita xbermakne tok sume org..
    tp we just be good n the best tuk org yg ambk kisah tentg kite jer..
    mmg hidup cam ni pun...

  2. i guess you're right there...
    gee, i just don't where to turn to...

  3. turn to Allah, like u used to say

  4. which d u prefer m0re??
    evry0ne keep 0n bugging each sec0nd of ur life,
    or juz few pe0ple wh0 really cares b0ut u??
    bese la mnusia..nver noe wat they hav,but keep on chasing wat they dun hav..
    at least,kn0wing sum0ne do care b0ut u is n ur famili perhaps??

  5. If I were you...just bother myself...

    Psss- best la tuh blik kampung lelame...jeles btl

  6. to arlina
    thank you so much arlina for reminding me, that's what i need right now :)

    to nextGEN
    yes, i do know that i have my family
    but when i'm far away from them, i'm just lost
    thanks 4 da comment anyway :)

    to Zouq
    jeles? ahahahaha sapa suruh x balik? XD

  7. hey, stop
    did you take Asasi TESL?
    tell me please~

  8. yeah, why?
    u need advice or something?

  9. kan best toh,
    people help each other. :)

  10. lol. chill chill. everything happens for a reason. =)

  11. woarghhhh~!
    i know, i know XD
    just emotions overflow i guess :P

  12. Perhaps I should agree with a single line written in between the first and the second paragraph, but with a little bit addition of a word called "Paranoid."

    Well it seems we're on the same boat, but I have to admit my so called 'mental sickness' is all about bashing indecent women out there. We have a word for this. It's called 'misogynist.' I'm not sure about you, mate. So far as I know from my own observation, you don't seem like one.

    Now who's that Winnie Nelson? Everything happens for a reason? This is a free country and I hope s/he won't take this easily as offense - "that's the most stupid response ever said by idiots who don't know how to face realities."
    BTW, nice post mate. I miss your old writing. Perhaps everybody miss ours too (oh yes, I need some credits for all of this blog thing too). The problem is, the font for comments are pretty much bigger than the post itself I don't know why by the time I need to focus my eyes on the post instead of the comment threads. Change lar.

  13. Relaxlah,ko ni cam x biaser jew hidup kat dunia mmg cenngini,
    setuju,ko mmg emo,sbr nye~

  14. to pok deng
    i'm none of what your words can describe other people, cos i'm different baby hahahaha XD
    i don't bash other people, though it may seems so at times, but no. read carefully
    sape winnie? she's a classmate of mine
    owh u miss my old writing? hahahaha gosh i'm touched
    i like the font, the size. its saying something for me, after all i made this blog for my own fulfillment, so i guess in the meantime i won't change it yet, soorryy hehe

    to april
    aku dh besa sngt, tu pasal XD
    hahahaha aku emo kah?