Maaf Zahir dan Batin

Blacklist me for a while. 'cause I'm not gonna be around until the end of this Raya. So like, don't visit here anymore, don't expect anything to appear around here. But, for those who is still connected to me using those social networks, namely Friendster and such, I'm still around

Maaf Zahir dan Batin to everybody. This Ramadan especially, I've made a lot of people to hate me, and the other way around. I only wish for the best, forgive me...

Balik Kampung

So I'm officially off to Jitra tonight. Thank God for the ticket tonight, if not I'm sure I can't stand staying around for few more days. Rumah, yeyyyy...

So many had left Meranti already. Somehow, it felt like the place is lifeless already. No more shouting from Allahwuallam where, no more guitar sound played around, no more watching people playing CS, Dota, PoP, and stuff, no more hanging around talking about chicks. Hey, malam ni nk bukak posa makan dgn sapa? Just a few bunch of us, it will do, but its never enough without everybody else

Talking about breakfasting, there's something that I deeply regret. When I'm far away, my roommates are supposed to be my family, aite? However, I've somehow neglected my family here. It's quite hard to write here, which I guess it's guilt, so read Boi's blog, whom is part of my family here, if you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about. And fyi, I'm the one called papa in his blog, and don't ever ask me why I'm called so. Pfftt...

Oh yuh, just make it bigger in case you guys didn't notice it at first
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, and Maaf Zahir dan Batin. I'm really sorry, for not being able to wish it to you guys personally. I'm sorry that I took off early after our last class that Thursday. You guys know me already, aite, so yuh, goodbye guys. Hope that you guys have fun and arrive home safely


And oh yuh, the pic's taken during my final year in MJSC Beseri. Tell you something, I used to have a crush on the girl focused in this pic... :D

No More?

So okay, no more of her. Officially, she is no longer a part of my life, nor I can see her ever again, whether I like it or not

When she completely ditched me out of her life, there used to be something else for me to still watch her from afar. It's not that I'm obsessed or something... but yeah, maybe I am. But why wouldn't I? Even as I denied having any affection towards her all this while because of my ego, I know myself that I had always loved her and her only. So now that when everywhere I look but she's no longer there, I found myself lost and confused...

I don't want to forget about her, please don't let me...

But she kept going forward. She kept meeting new people, going to new places, learning stuff everyday. She had already opened her heart to somebody else. While here I am, stuck here, with my memories of her, unable to forget and move on to the next level. What a loser I am, and facing the mirror felt like suicide

But I have to, I have to move on and forget her. I don't care what it take, and how long it will take me down. I need to forget her and move on, move on. Though I will never be able to find her replacements, at least in the moment, I just need to forget her and keep my ego checked so that I will not repeat the same mistake

So maybe, a raya card would be suitable as the last gift, handwritten at that. Though many of my promises to her will not be fulfilled, at least the promise of me sending her a letter of my own handwriting will be enough...


Out For Peace

My writing just got lamer and lamer each day. Maybe I should stop blogging for a while now and just focus on my studies, like I'm supposed to. When I talked to my sis about my problem in Shah Alam, she told me to stick to the books. And I'll do just that...

Looking forward to Raya this time. No more complaint about having to study during Raya like last year, as the chance of being with my family seems more important to me. So yeah, tata all

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri semua...

Hate Is All That's Left

I really don't know why, but lately I've lost touch in writing, especially in this blog. Perhaps in the case of the worst of the worst, I can no longer write like I'm used to be. There you go, that pessimism that I'm used to adopt some time ago. Its back, and its depressing me like no other and making me more morose as minutes are passing by. Heck, I've started to listen back to Within Temptation, making myself more emo than usual

Hate is all that's left, but luckily, that's what I'll say only in the past

There's this one day, that in the morning I realised that my phone is out of battery 'cause I didn't recharge it last night. Thinking that nobody would ever bother me since it was the norm that I'm the one doing all the communication, I just left it back in my locker. How I did not realize what a bad mistake it was

Later, I found out that my mom and my dad was trying to reach me all day. They had news to tell me, and I wasn't around my phone to answer them... Tambah dosa lagi...

My dad got an operation to underwent on that very day. Later in the night only after I recharged my phone that I knew of this. Gosh, it was exactly during the stroke of the midnight minute and probably my dad was trying to get some sleep after his surgery when I called. Apologizing profusely, I talked to my dad for about half an hour or so. One thing about my dad and me is that, we are quite close and can easily converse with each other

Alhamdulillah that my family is still with me here in this world

UiTM Shah Alam is somehow depressing. I won't tell why so here, as it will no doubt hurt some feelings of people around here, and I mean, really hurt them. So let it be a secret that only I have to bear with, and don't ever bother to ask why. And for me to bear such a burden of hate, of course in the end I'll only end up becoming bitter with everybody else.

That's why, I really need to get things over and done with here, and get back home ASAP and ask for forgiveness from both my mom, my mom, my mom and my father. I've been to attached to Shah Alam for so long and somehow along the way I had little by little forgot about them. No wonder I'm so restless these days, getting the nerve of people that I care, and became so disorganized of my own hygiene and cleanliness and stuff

Biaq la seribu kali aku katakan ini setiap kali aku wat post baru, aku tetap rindu rumah...

Mine To Hold

Lately, I've been wondering, what is it that made me created this blog in the first place? Is it out of boredom, 'cause it was during the era of post SPM that I created this blog? And now, what had become of it? What is the true reason I've been writing all of my heart in here, was it for my own sake, or for the attention of others?

Who is it for? You, or me?

Guess I'm gonna have to set my priorities straight again. No more wondering whether a particular post should be published here, or there. So be warned that, everything published, be it boring, be it unattractive, be it as lame as a donkey's ass, whatever written here next, will be...

Ariff Dean's, not Ariffuddin's

Owh dear, I miss home
And ayat2 post kali nih cam pelik ja bunyinya...

Another Tag, Courtesy of Emellia


Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end, you need to choose 5 people to be tagged and list their names.
No tags back.

1. I love chick lit books (my sis' influence)

2. Got a habit of staring into people's eyes, though only for a short period

3. The least organized person in the room

4. I really hate getting naked, and wearing short pant or tight shirt

5. I listen to
nasyeed, rock, indie, gothic emo and r&b all at the same time

6. I'm the worst spender ever, so don't give me much money

7. One of the casual
tapau-er; drinks, chocolates, stuff that I can eat

8. Really quiet in public, but a screaming jumping monkey within the
vicinity of close friends

9. Eventhough I'm painfully shy with the girls, I'm very close with my mom and my three sisters

10. Said to be sweet, but I believe I'm the worst partner you could ever have

11. I trust people so damn easily

12. Really hates shopping, unless with someone I'm really, really close with

13. aku anak manja, literally and technically speaking

14. I make the worst decision ever...

15. And I always regret my past mistakes

Ariff Dean is tagging:

Nobody. I don't necessarily have to play by the rules, aite? Besides, who cares anyway? I certainly won't tag Pok Deng or Eifham to do the tag, because all I would get in reply is a stupidly blur face accompanied by the ever famous "WTF?!" phrase. And they are the first people I could think of tagging them

End of story, now it's time for Ayat-ayat Cinta and Playing for Pizza

Beseri Boys Reunion

13 September 2008
At MidValley Megamall
A quarter of Beseri boys of Batch 22 gathered, namely...

1) Ariffuddin (Myself, of course)
2) Farhan Elfi
3) Akhtar
4) Shakir
5) Adib Zakaria
6) Redha Mat Top
7) Rajhan
8) Amirul Asyraf
9) Khairuddin Keown
10) Pak Long
11) Syafwan
12) Akmal Rizal
13) Farhan KSAH
14) Aizam
15) Izani
16) Pon
17) Shauqqy
18) Hanif Sofi
19) Shaufil
20) Keown
21) Amin
22) Izaan
23) Zaid Mr Know

After so long, we all met again, but alas, not all of us are here. Even though that we first called only 12 of us, in the end 23 people turned up from all over Shah Alam and Kuala Lumpur. What a day, it was only meant only to be just a normal gathering for the few of us, but in the end it all turn out to be special for the lots of us

Bless them all, barakatullah. Beseri batch 22 forever in my heart

In A Middle of Here And There

Owh yeah, our allowance money worth of 800 plus just came in this afternoon. That solved many problems that I had of lately. Oh well, if I'm a girl, I might go "Shopping!!!" all around, but since I'm not one, I'll pass that up. If I had a lady of worth being around me and loving me wanted to go shopping, maybe then I'll go "Shopping!" with her after all heh

I'm in need of change. I need to change the way I write. The urge came after a few moment of staring into the screen, and alas no new post for the last week. I need to change the face of my blog somehow, but I won't kill its originality. Perhaps just some tinkering here and there, and the least is that it will have a fresh new feeling to it

Well, I hope

Lately, I found myself in this same old stupid problem again. I felt that I really can't get along with my classmates now, though just few days ago I was still in speaking term with them. But somehow, back home at Meranti, I mingled just fine with the boys from my class, yet in class, everyone, the boys and the girls, seems to get the worse out of me. I really felt uncomfortable

Just like old times, I usually went cowering in a corner somewhere minding my own business. That sucks everytime

Just when I'm about to shake of the emo-maniacal feeling, it struck me back again. When will I be truly be free of all this shackles and truly enjoy life as it should be?

I need my mum...

Tag Huh? Okayyy...

Since Nqb tagged me, I'm supposed to do this right? So here goes lah...

#Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
- Yes, my dear mum's

#What were you doing at 1 am?
- Either already gagaga or listening to some mysterious tunes

#What was the reason you last cried?
- Secret lah, but it's about a girl (serious shit)

#What are you seriously wearing?
- Either fully black, blue or red, nuthin' much but the lame stuff

#What are you doing tonight?
- Play either SimCity4 or Warcraft DoTa

#Do you clean when you’re upset?
- Dunno myself

#Would you ever dye your hair blue?
- Never la dude

#How many pairs of shoes do you own?
- Only two

#Do you usually tell people when they hurt your feelings?
- Curiously, with the people I'm really close with only

#What's on your mind right now?
- Laundry, homework, money, money, money

#How have you felt today?
- Flabbergasted? It's a happening day today

#Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
- Truly, though its almost a sure chance of it being blown up

#Did you cry today?
- No, should I?

#Do you miss anyone?
- Yesh...

#Who knows your biggest secret?
- Myself

#Who was the last person to hold your hand?
- Sapa ntah... Kat Bazaar Ramadhan :P

#How many windows are open on your computer?
- Depends

#What do you hear right now?
- Bratja by Vic Mignogna

#How many hours did you sleep last night?
- 10 hours

#Are you waiting for something?
- Dunno

#Does anyone hate you?
- Somewhere, somehow, yeah

#Who was your last call from?
- Kak Yu

#Have you ever ran away?
- From what?

#Can you run a mile?
- No. Malas + Tak Larat

#Who's voice did you hear last?
- Somebody's screaming in euphoria over a simple firecracker noise

#Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
- No subjects lah...

#Did you speak to your mother today?
- Yesh, thank god

#What is the last movie you watched?
- Scary Movie all the trilogy completed

#Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
- Nobody to be exact

#Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
- Of course, Qada' and Qadar

#Do you like someone?
- Yes, truly

#Has anyone disappointed you recently?
- Yes, truly

#How late did you stay up last night and why?
- 2.oo am, game lah dude...

September's Fast

7 days of fasting has passed by. I've been witnessing many ongoing activities around here and it's forever itching me to write something about. But like, I have been so darn busy and so out of money that I can't simply bother to check my blog as often as I do back then. Oh what the hell I say

So okay, bukak puasa was quite fun and gay for us all. The unimaginable came to life after all and I'm easing quite well towards this kind of lifestyle. After buying myself some cheap but favoured by us students-without-much-money nasi ayam and some random drink be it bandung or air mata cat, all of us roommates would sit in circles and indulge in the food like there's no tomorrow. We would chat and crack some jokes, breathe in some air and while enjoying some of the moment, it is clearly seen that everyone somehow misses their home.

I do misses the old times, either back home or at Beseri, but somehow things were better left in the past, where they belong. Fasting month, though it is not the same for me, nor it will ever be, is the time I should embrace with gratitude and open arm. Should it not be so for me, then I'm so gonna be missing a lot of things in this university life, especially during the fasting month, and it had just barely begun. Now that's gonna suck

Last word from me, who in the blue hell told me that during the fasting month that I can reduce both my spending and weight? In the end, I ended up poorer and fatter and worse than I could ever be before