Gone With The Wind

Going away again
Though I still have something to do back home, and with some regret still undone, but I'm going anyway, for a long time now

Sorry all should I have hurt you in a way
I always suck at sorries, and I always ended up gone without saying goodbyes
Thank god for the blog :P


Mindless Killing Intention

"I don't have a single friend and I won't be in the future.
I'll be ignored because I'm ugly"

"If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't have just left my job or
be addicted to my cellphone. A man with hope could
never understand this."

"I'm lower than trash because at least the trash gets

Such is the words Tomohiro Kato. All before he went
into a killng spree and killed 7 and wounded 17 others.

Really, he got my attention. I wondered then just
whatever had made him resolved into doing such
brutal acts. We have heard that some people had
shot people at random because of stress. From
his words, that must be the reason.

But still, come on laa. Who deserves that?

I myself had the urge to just go amok and kills
somebody. All the burdens and loneliness before
me. I always get the feeling that people hate me
because of how I look like, because of how I talk,
and because of how I move. I used to have a crush
on this girl, and when she found out, how she
taunted me as some budak gemok prasan. How others said
that I'm just daydreaming and a fool that don't realize
how ugly he really is.

I'm used to see myself in front of the mirror, and see a fatbastard that no one likes.

Sure, I can run amok and kill some people. It's easy right, with some knife I can do some damage on my own. 0_0

But still, come on laa. Who deserves that?

Putting past my grudge, I went on living daily as if
there's nothing wrong with me at all. And now, I'm
a bit thinner =D and I feel more relaxed about how
I looks like. I also begin to enjoy social contact with
other people that I used to be so afraid of to do.

Thanks all around for my beloved family, without
them I won't be here now, finally beaten the memories
of estranged past, and being someone who can be
grateful for what he has been bestowed by Allah SWT.

"I don't have a friend - I'm ugly"
I wonder, had he been born into this world as a
muslim, he'd probaly have felt differently.
He would have known that every human
being in this world is equal and we are judged
by our own deeds, and not by our appearance.

And nobody deserves to be left alone in this world.

That sucks :( For him, though

Friend, or no friend?

Hmm, I wonder?
Can true friendship last
If we are so far apart, and
Lost each other's contact?
Will we be able to remember them
Let alone talk to them again afterwards?

Probably not lah
All the schoolmates, fellow camp trainees
We just don't treat each others phone calls anymore
Which is quite weird, considering
How close we used to be then
But now, all that just remains as it is
A memory from our past...

One thing good about them being a memory
Is that when we do meet them again
Both sides really feel delighted to see each other again
And begin talking like there's no more tomorrow :)
That's a nice feeling, and lately
Fate has brought me to such encounter
At Kolej Mara Kuala Nerang
Found lots of old schoolmates that
I'll probably never heard of again after
I kind of glad to meet them again

My dad once told me that
I'll probably never see some of my scoolmates again
That's a sad truth, probably all of us realize that too
Perhaps that's why we shy from each other
But somehow, that kept us bonded at heart
Eventhough we schoolmates of Beseri
To be never talking to each other again
I know, the memories will be enough
For me or them to cherish silently
In our heart...


Finally, I got P license for both car and motorcycle
And just recently, I got a new phone
Really, my life took an unexpected turn
Something that has been missing
Suddenly feels like its there...

Yet, I'm feeling as my youth has gone dry
Lately, I feel old, and I mean really old
And I'm feeling a bit, strangely matured
I'm seeing things like an old man
I even clothes like one
Heck, I even talks like one
I don't like it one bit
I miss being a riot, being a rebel
Not to see reason within an act
Being a kid again, I want that again
Somebody save me
Bring back that carefree, life-loving freak
That I once are...


I hate wars, really hate wars
Eventhough I'm still very young
And haven't really went through a real war
I can tell everybody I meet
I bloody hate wars
First people dies, then the nature dies
War only results in despair and sadness
And it won't just effect the parties involved
It will also effect the world

We all Malaysians have seen what
The raise of petrol oil price can do to us
Imagine if somewhere the wars break out
It will surely cause tremendous damages everywhere
And if the wars revolve around petrol oil countries
Surely the petrol oil price will go up abruptly
And we will be forced to pay ridiculous sum of money
Just to have transportation
Not only that, goods price will also go up as well
It will be a bloody disaster then

Now some fucking damn israelis said that
They are ready to attack Iran anytime now
Bloody caused an uproar everywhere
And the price for a can of petrol oil went up
About 168$ worth of sum
And about RM 400 in our currency
Yet, the war still hasn't started yet
Imagine what will happen next...

Petrol Oil Craze

What a shit-hit-the-fan scenario
People everywhere is filling up their ride
Bloody lines up from the station
Till up in the front of my Taman's road
Mind ya, that's about 200 metres worth of queue length
Bloody cars everywhere
Making my life hard and miserable

I had to postpone my journey to Kelantan
Because the car didn't have enough oil
To survive the journey
And I won't queue in that bloody line
What a bloody damn shame...


After such a long time
I finally got to meet a very old friend
After nearly 5 years of absence
And it was so sudden, he was standing there
But joy overtook the nervousness quickly
And we went reminiscing like there's no tomorrow

My god, how he has changed all this while
He's taller than me (he used to be shorter)
And there's no more jambul on his forehead, ahakz
He's gained some tan, unexpected though
As he used to be so fair
And hey, he started speaking KLlites Malay
No more Kedahan in him I suppose, :P
But still, deep inside that handsome young fellow
I can still see the old Muzammil that I once knew

Ah well, we started talking about old times
It's so sweet to be talking to someone
From your past, especially from the kid's past
We were friends since my Tajuddin era
Which means, we were friends since I'm 7 years old
And so, we talked and talked about old times
Many names came out, and we talked about them
The feelings, the euphoria I have then
And I glad that I made the effort to contact

Friend, good friend is hard to come by
From him, I've learned to treasure friendship more
Well after saying goodbye and promising
To meet each other again after this
I finally realized that maybe after all
I'm not lonely in this world

Next is... Kelantan

Oh yeah
I finally got word from my Mak Lang
I can join the entourage to Kelantan
Or rombongan, as we say it
This will be my second trip to Kelantan
This time, it's my fourth cousin's turn
To marry someone from Kelantan
And make the family even more bigger

I can still remember the first time
I went to Kelantan in a rombongan
I was with arwah Faidi, my cousin
We both are so lost in translation
We even have difficulties trying to order food
But now, after my experience in PLKN
The mingle with Kelantanese people helped me
Learned a bit of their languanges
Rolled tongue, twisted tongue, hehe
Who cares?

Now that I'm going to Kelantan
I really miss my fellow PLKN trainees from Kelantan
I wonder if I can meet some of them there?

Got Work?

Only after I finished SPM
After I went to PLKN
After I enjoyed about 3 months of bachelor life
After finding out that I'll be going to u in about a month
I got myself a job
It's quite late, but I guess it won't hurt now
20 plus days until I'm going far away again
20 ringgit per day doesn't seem so bad :P

Busy again, but at least I'm not lonely again
After the kids left my home already
Life starting to get quiet again
Right now, work is all I have
To keep me preoccupied
Or less lonely perhaps?