Everything Changes

If you just walked away

What could I really say?

Would it matter anyway?

Would it change how you feel?

I am the mess you chose

The closet you cannot close

The devil in you i suppose

'Cause the wounds never heal

But everything changes

If I could

Turn back the years

If you could

Learn to forgive me

Then I could learn to feel

Sometimes the things I say

In moments of disarray

Succumbing to the games we play

To make sure that it's real

But everything changes

If I could

Turn back the years

If you could

Learn to forgive me

Then I could learn to feel

When it's just me and you

Who knows what we could do

If we can just make it through

The toughest part of the day

But everything changes

If I could

Turn back the years

If you could

Learn to forgive me

Then I could

Learn how to feel

Then we could

Stay here together

And we could

Conquer the world

If we could

Say that forever

Is more than just a word

If you just walked away

What could I really say?

And would it matter anyway?

It wouldn't change how you feel

500 Days of Summer

Just watched 500 Days of Summer. Been wanting to do so since I knew that Zooey Deschanel acted in it haha. And you know, certain something sometime just can't help but to happen at the most crucial of time, the time where it hits straight at the heart

I love it at the beginning of the story. By the middle of it somehow I began to hate it. I began to hate it so much, because it's starting to reflect something in me. By the end of it, somehow I became glad to have watched it. I don't know why, but this particular story felt so close at heart, with the guy in the movie having so much similarities with me, and even the almost same situation

However, the guy in the movie became a better man in the end of the movie. He found the answer he's been looking for in his life. He found the freaking answer, which I hadn't been able to do so. He even moved on, despite all the love is fantasy and bullshit stint he was deluded in before, and found Autumn

Unlike me. The jerk who stays a jerk. And no, loneliness is not overrated as mentioned in the movie

It hurts. Like hell

a Dead Etong

A miracle is a bunch of crap. It does not happen. There's a reason for everything that had happened. No use in waiting for something to happen without doing anything. Worse still when you neglect what's more important. Yeah, a miracle is a bunch of crap, developed for those desperate people for hopes

No such thing. I gave up. I gave up on her indefinitely. No more waiting. Time to move on

Time to move on... Again

Oh yeah, happy birthday me. Seems like a lot of people 'remember' it on Facebook, but them who are really important are either unable to wish it to me, or just don't freaking care, or just simply forget.

Oh well

Ignorant

I'm exhausted. Mentally, physically, totally. Writing this down and feeling like a total idiot that is desperate for attention doesn't even mean anything now. I'm just too damn exhausted to even care, I just want to write this one down

Everything's changing. Turning into a painful deja vu of what had happened during the drama period of the asasi year. Perhaps even worse. Cause this time around, I feel like screaming at everyone

"What the hell is wrong you guys?!"

I'm hurt. Nobody listens anymore. Mom's not here anymore, no one to call. Dad's gone, sis' way too busy with work

The peculiar thing is, I don't feel like giving it away just yet, unlike before. I'm not bitter, I'm not hateful, it's just that I feel ignorant. Ignorant of what is going on

And being ignorant is the worst thing that could happen to me. Especially now..