No More?

So okay, no more of her. Officially, she is no longer a part of my life, nor I can see her ever again, whether I like it or not

When she completely ditched me out of her life, there used to be something else for me to still watch her from afar. It's not that I'm obsessed or something... but yeah, maybe I am. But why wouldn't I? Even as I denied having any affection towards her all this while because of my ego, I know myself that I had always loved her and her only. So now that when everywhere I look but she's no longer there, I found myself lost and confused...

I don't want to forget about her, please don't let me...

But she kept going forward. She kept meeting new people, going to new places, learning stuff everyday. She had already opened her heart to somebody else. While here I am, stuck here, with my memories of her, unable to forget and move on to the next level. What a loser I am, and facing the mirror felt like suicide

But I have to, I have to move on and forget her. I don't care what it take, and how long it will take me down. I need to forget her and move on, move on. Though I will never be able to find her replacements, at least in the moment, I just need to forget her and keep my ego checked so that I will not repeat the same mistake

So maybe, a raya card would be suitable as the last gift, handwritten at that. Though many of my promises to her will not be fulfilled, at least the promise of me sending her a letter of my own handwriting will be enough...



  1. You're not a loser. It shows u as a loyal partner. Who ditched who? That's the point. Another point, what's the point of that 'stuck' shit? U see, they speak on their own definition of 'moving on.' What's the definition of moving on, anyway? Finding new mates n then finally broke-up? And then finding a new one n it cntinues again n again? Is dat 'moving on'? Crap. It shows u a loser.

    God loves u for not permit u to love her because u dont deserve someone like her. Something to ponder...

    Berkapel utk kawen, atau berkapel utk nafsu pelir supaya air mazi keluar membasahi seluar dalam ketika dating?

    Kdg2, kita kena akur tentang kebenaran ajaran islam. TIADA CINTA SEBELUM KAHWIN.

  2. entahlaa pok deng
    aku berharap jaa
    Tuhan jua yg menentukan

  3. Surah Tohaa 1 hingga lima. Hafal dan jadikan amalan.

    Tiap tiap hari solat sunat hajat 2 rakaat, mintak Tuhan kembalikan Dia pada ko. Lepas solat, baca al-fatihah sekali, selawat 3 kali, surah toha 1-5 sekali, lepas tu niat dalam hati nama Dia binti nama mak dia. Pastu tadah tangan baca doa... mintak lah pape ngan Tuhan. Buat tiap-tiap hari tanpa henti. Sampai dapat.

    Sekadar ikhtiar. Ingat, surah Toha. Usaha tangga kejayaan. Kalau Allah izin, jadi lah tu.

  4. salam dean.. urmm... lama tak singgah..
    dah start sedey balik..
    jodoh, ajal maut di tangan Tuhan..
    ada ramai lagi yang leh jadi pengganti..
    so jangan sedey² k..
    sis tau perasaan dean..
    jangan give up k..

  5. salam jua utk akak
    terima kasih akak
    for being understanding
    at least, kurang la sket
    sakit hati ni...

  6. dump or being dumped, neither of both dignifies the hurt ego.
    To finally accept, she's no longer the centre of your universe, a true heart wrenching episode in this fleeting moments we called Life.
    Bleeding heart will eventually heal.

    ~salam perkenalan~

  7. perhaps what ur said here is the truth
    however, berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul

    salam perkenalan 2 u too, :)

  8. Dean, I agree with PokDeng, we are not losers, we were loyal but "betrayed" ... semua kejadian ada hikmah ... just continue to hv faith and hold on to it. Sometime back I thought I would land in a psychiatric ward, but they rejected, saying that my insanity is not yet up to their expectation hehehe .... so I need more insane happenings to qualify me a bed there miiahaaahaahaaa. Cheers buddy!

  9. eh lupa nak usap Salam Perkenalan dan Persaudaraan :-)

  10. why, thnk you for the comment mossavi
    n salam perkenalan and persaudaraan 2 u too