I'm a Jerk, Really

Salam. Now you can really call me a jerk, please

I just wanted to say sorry for what I've written in my previous post. I'm not saying any bad thing to them or to anyone in particular. It's not intended to be so, no, especially not to people who have been so kind to me, that would have been so stupid of me. I'm just ranting on and on in my blog like I usually do, emotionally at that, and perhaps I've crossed some line there. I know, even as I do blog on my own satisfaction, I shouldn't have involve others, pretty much make a stupid and senseless comment about them

I respect you guys, believe that, and the reason that I used you guys as the comparison to myself is that I always had look up upon Law students, and I had always thought that you guys are always studying, had to memorize stuff and do so many things. Yeah, the stupid mentality here is that TESL is easy and are pretty laid-back. So when I'm overly stressed by assignments and saw that you guys are kind of free or something, I reacted the wrong way and kinda blamed the situation for what I'm going through. Yeah, lame, but its me, the emotionally stupid me

I'm telling you guys this. I'm a coward. I've always had low self-esteem, and I never believe in myself. I had always wanted to be a lawyer, and Law is what I had aimed. But after SPM, looking back I realised that I had missed a lot of things in life. I never entered a debate, though I like them, I never get involved in many activities, I always believed that I can never make speeches as good as my father and my sisters can. And so, I skipped Law as my first choice, and took TESL instead in hope that TESL will be much more easier and easier and easier

As I'm a jerk, I'm also a fool

I'm so sorry guys, I never meant to hurt anybody, anybody at all. I'm not much of a friend, but you guys had been so kind of me, and yet I did this to all of you. Please forgive me, and I won't care how silly I will look for apologizing time and again, I will do it until you guys forgive me...

Habis sudah panel discussion, no komen...


  1. trust me, as you speak, you look comfortable with yourself. people dont view you as a jerk or whatever you call yourself is.
    for me, youre a kind person. just sometimes you look all emo and i got goosebumbs. x]
    but do you notice, even when youre emo, i always try to smile to you because i know deep inside you, youre such a gntleman. :)))