Behind a Smile

Smile everybody. Its not like you often have the chance to smile at people and feel good about it. People judge people, people says bad thing about people, people stab people behind their back, and in the end a smile is all what's worth out of social life. Okay, let's keep the glass half-full before I ruin your reading mood...

If, there are people reading my blog. Here goes the sarcasm again...


Thank goodness I still got some good friends that I can goof off with so that I can be like myself again. Even if I am still being secretive with them, at least they know who I truly am, and I won't need to bother to feel judged by them, and be bitter about life again. Yeah, they know a part of my loneliness, a part of my pain, and they had seen me scream in agony, they had witnessed me cursing at people for no apparent reason sometimes because the world sucks. So yeah, I'm most comfortable with them now

So why, humans being that is a part of the society out there, why are you so judgemental of people you barely know? Why can't you be like my friends here, and just let me be myself huh?

I admit, my face, my figure, my image, all are not what they call beautiful, or even, decent. Yeah, I'm ugly. Yet I don't mind if you first met me, you said that I have such a sour face, because I rarely talk to strangers, pretty much smile to them. But when I tried to be nice, I tried people, and I smiled to them, why do you just have say that the smile means something else? Why can't I just smile for the pleasure of it, of at least trying to be nice to people?

Am I just too freaking hideous for you people to see, and you would just rather not see me at all?

Its not that I wanted to be like this, to write in such a solemn style. People judge me, and I don't know how to response. Should I just ignore you guys, people will just keep saying that I'm emo. You think I like that?

I'm a weak person. I need attention more than ever cause I'm getting farther and farther away from my family. Please don't judge me at whatever I'm doing, please don't leave me with harsh decisions

Please...

Dunia...
writ by

8 comments:

  1. SMANFFebruary 12, 2009 at 7:06 AM

    Ya Rabbi..
    low profile kaw2..
    ssngguhnye, etong sgt beautiful

    yg bnar,
    Proud that God create me as me

    ReplyDelete
  2. PAJIDFebruary 12, 2009 at 9:19 AM

    xtaw nk habaq pa bg hg paham.
    ppl judge. dats ppl.
    IGNORE them fer d sake of ur own life~
    dats wut i owes do when i was like u.

    p/s- ak x ignore completely pn, ak juz imagine n hope if ak ad merc, ak lggar dorang.wuwuw..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Siti SyawalFebruary 12, 2009 at 3:03 PM

    "I admit, my face, my figure, my image, all are not what they call beautiful, or even, decent. Yeah, I'm ugly. Yet I don't mind if you first met me, you said that I have such a sour face, because I rarely talk to strangers, pretty much smile to them."

    wey, u just like me la..muahaha! but do i care what people say? no!!!! so u have to do like what i do. depress sangat la mung ni..

    ReplyDelete
  4. arlinaFebruary 12, 2009 at 3:31 PM

    tau tak, your sad music as background, your writing is beautiful like always, i almost cry. you are not that bad okay, you said it to me, never downsize yourself, and now im telling you to do so okay. i guess we are that people who feels insecure, rejected by the society. anyway appearance is subjective lah, no one can judge whats nice or whats not. ( omg im so hypocrite) cheh lebih2 dah ni. so, be happy ye deen, if you want to cry and feeling down, you can always cry on their shoulders :),

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2009 at 12:55 AM

    apa yang anda fikirkan waktu mula² jumpa aku dulu??

    nampaknya...kita ada persamaan..haha

    ReplyDelete
  6. ariff deanFebruary 13, 2009 at 8:42 AM

    to amri
    etong tuh nama feveret kucing aku kaler oren, dia mmg comey n beautiful

    to PAJID
    haha i suppose so, tp ade ke merc tuh cik pengerusi???

    to ryurisora
    ehhh really? i guess tht u can understand how i feel
    thnkz fer telling me tht

    to arlina
    i know tht, cause i told u tht, but knowing wont help at all if i myself is such a weak person that can be swayed by emotions easily

    to wawa
    entahlahh wawa oyy...
    yeah? :P

    ReplyDelete
  7. nasihaFebruary 14, 2009 at 3:41 AM

    ahh..i dunno y ppl like to judge..ur very lucky to have friends like them u know..

    ReplyDelete
  8. ariff deanFebruary 14, 2009 at 4:16 AM

    yeah i guess so
    wonder if i'll ever meet them again after this...

    ReplyDelete

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