Assalamualaikum. I wonder if is it okay for me to give salam in here, as Muslims have to answer them back. Yet it is only in just a written form, and like, uhhh... Why don't I just keep it for when we meet in face to face, and after that we can get to know each other more and stuff, okeyh?
Salam then, cause salam means peace, and it goes for Muslims and Non-Muslims alike
Oh yeah, I realised lots of people are gone from the vicinity. Not that it matters much like last sem, because my room now is far away from most of them, and I barely see them anyway in places other than the faculty. So like, I'm left with my roommates to spend the weekend and having fun though I got like 3 tests the following week, eheh, thinking things about that is the thing that's gonna kill you man
Thing is, I miss Kedah. But I won't go all emotional and stuff to sympathise with myself for not being able to go home, not now. It's the slang for Kedah that I'm trying to focus here. Being a Kedahan, every syllable of Malay word goes out of my mouth, it will sound so Kedah like. But now, it seems like I'm losing it
?! Tanak saye2, tanak kami2, tanak eeee~2 kat belakang2 tuh~~!
I understand, that some people won't even understand a word that I utter when I'm in full Kedahan-mode. So I kind of mellowed my tounge, and I ditched some Kedahan word and put in some eeee~ at the words there. Plus, since two of my lovely sisters and their wonderful 9 kids all lives in the KL area, I followed suit when talking to them and in the end got too used of using the slang
Problem is, I've been away from Jitra for so long that I got no one to speak Kedahan too. Even a roommate of mine who is also from Kedah, who used to prides himself of being a true Kedahan is being really KLlites-like when he talks. Adding kot at the back, plus some eeee~ and no more hang2 anymore, just saye2, awk2, stuff. Gee, I feel like vomitting my inside out XD
But hey, since his sweetheart is currently studying in KL, so I won't mind, ahah
Ohh Kedah. I miss the people there. I miss ordering teh tarik without minding how the tarik will sounds like, I miss making one-liners that friends can understand, I miss the way people will ignore you there if you dresses up as if you had just woken up from a sleep
Man, Kedah!
Sebelum cuti minggu depan, 3 test minggu nih! Usaha tangga kejayaan, itulah moto sekolah rendah aku dulu :)
Because I~~ Love You
Finally, she confessed to Naruto about her true feelings to him, and after that, she died protecting him. This is one of the best scenes from the series, I gotta admit that, because my emotions were stirred upon reading this, and the urge to write something on this just came outOnly until this point that I realized how much I had in common with Hinata here. How she is always feeling all alone and always feeling down all the time, thinking that she's just a worthless person that nobody appreciates. She was always been downsized by her own father, and her siblings are stronger and thus less attention are paid to her. The similarities just seems so unreal, yet it is there
And I also can't find the courage to say I love you
But finally, she found her strength in the end to finally overcome her fear, and to protect the one she that loved. Though she died in the end, it was a meaningful death, and she will always be remembered for her sacrifices she made for love
Yeah, its lame to post something on Naruto especially on the lovey-dovey part, I know. But take what I'm trying to say here, and try to understand
"I used to always cry and give up..."
"I nearly went the wrong way"
"But you, you showed me the way"
"I was always chasing after you"
"Wanting to overtake you"
"I just wanted to talk to you"
"I wanted to be with you..."
"I nearly went the wrong way"
"But you, you showed me the way"
"I was always chasing after you"
"Wanting to overtake you"
"I just wanted to talk to you"
"I wanted to be with you..."
Selamat cuti hujung minggu semua. Jangan mati lagi, aku rindu korang semua
I Hate The Rain
I'm going back home. I don't care whether the holiday's short or it's going to be tough back home. I just need to get away from this all and stay alone in my room, away from this hypocrite world. Even for a bit, I'll be fine then
I guess
I think I've done enough blogging so far. With only bullshits and craps that I came up with, I don't think that people would even read it anymore, and even I feel crappy thinking about it. Troubles and feelings should only be kept to oneself, not publicly displayed like it was some stuff you would just sell at a flea market or something. That's cheap
It's been raining for quite some time now. Sometimes, I just can't help hating the rain, because of all the bad memories that it bring along, the melancholy of the past. Perhaps that's the reason that I'm feeling so down lately. To make matters worse, lately everybody who has been depressed seems to have found their light in life, things to make them smile. I'm envious of them, because now that I'm all sad and miserable, it's their turn to be happy
Feelings and emotions. If I don't learn to control them, one of these days I'm going to be eaten alive by it. Such is the challenges that Allah has given for me for all my past sin
So yeah, home. I want to get close to my mom again after all the rebellious years...
Kepada awak, saya benci awak kerana marah saya tanpa sebab. Jangan ingat saya senyap saya terus lupakan saja, malah lagi saya senyap, lagi awak patut rasa risau
I guess
I think I've done enough blogging so far. With only bullshits and craps that I came up with, I don't think that people would even read it anymore, and even I feel crappy thinking about it. Troubles and feelings should only be kept to oneself, not publicly displayed like it was some stuff you would just sell at a flea market or something. That's cheap
It's been raining for quite some time now. Sometimes, I just can't help hating the rain, because of all the bad memories that it bring along, the melancholy of the past. Perhaps that's the reason that I'm feeling so down lately. To make matters worse, lately everybody who has been depressed seems to have found their light in life, things to make them smile. I'm envious of them, because now that I'm all sad and miserable, it's their turn to be happy
Feelings and emotions. If I don't learn to control them, one of these days I'm going to be eaten alive by it. Such is the challenges that Allah has given for me for all my past sin
So yeah, home. I want to get close to my mom again after all the rebellious years...
Kepada awak, saya benci awak kerana marah saya tanpa sebab. Jangan ingat saya senyap saya terus lupakan saja, malah lagi saya senyap, lagi awak patut rasa risau
Another Rantings
Oh, (curses of all sort)~
I'm hating the silence between you and me. How I am itching to go to you and just say it to ease the burden inside of me. And oh, the jealousy of seeing you talk to other guys didn't help at all. Now that I'm used to your presence wherever I go, a day without you just seems so worthless
Okay, I'm hopeless for posting this one out, yeah I know
Well, somebody gave me his RapidKL ticket while I was about to pay for it. Perhaps it was just another small kindness shown, but I know you might say what's the fuss is all about. I just wanted to say that I'm glad, I'm glad that someone has been nice to me this day, for that at least I can smile for something more genuine then
Oh (curses), I miss you~
Writing test esok, study2...
I'm hating the silence between you and me. How I am itching to go to you and just say it to ease the burden inside of me. And oh, the jealousy of seeing you talk to other guys didn't help at all. Now that I'm used to your presence wherever I go, a day without you just seems so worthless
Okay, I'm hopeless for posting this one out, yeah I know
Well, somebody gave me his RapidKL ticket while I was about to pay for it. Perhaps it was just another small kindness shown, but I know you might say what's the fuss is all about. I just wanted to say that I'm glad, I'm glad that someone has been nice to me this day, for that at least I can smile for something more genuine then
Oh (curses), I miss you~
Writing test esok, study2...
Crush
Last Friday, I met her out of the blue. It was nearly 6.30 pm or something, and at that time, I can still have some conversation with her, though then I'm already starting to feel it. The next day, I've volunteered myself into the EIF activity, which she's also in too. The morning was filled with her presence, yet that time the feeling has already overtaken me, and I kept away from her. Later that evening, when I went to Hijazi alone for my dinner, there she was again. Sunday the next day, it so happen that I met her coincidentally, thrice. And all event I kept away of her, because of one reason...
Yes people, I'm admitting it. I'M IN LOVE
People says love are blind. Some say when you're in love words will escape you, leaving you nothing in this world except for you and her in each other's presence. I think I'm getting a grasp of it, well only me in my case here. Each time that she's around, I always feel that I'm stuttering, trying to find the correct words yet unable to say it out loud, and doing stupid things to impress her. Really, the power of love is not of something that you handles everyday
I'm such a pessimist when it comes to love, for the very same reason that I became painfully shy in public. I don't really trust in it, can't really tell whether it is just lust or something else deeper. When I look at other girls that is so beautiful, perhaps I will only admire them for such a short while and then forget about it. But she is different from the others. When I first glanced upon her, I thought that she is just another ordinary girl, and the very reason that I even get to know her was because she's in my group during BTN and that a fellow friend of mine has a liking towards her
How wrong was I now, that I've got to know her better
Each time when I wake up in the morning, I kept thinking about her smile. Whenever I feels lonely, I remembered the late night chatting I had with her. The moment that I feel troubled by assignments or family problems, I remembered about her and how strong she is and how I admired her for that. I can't sleep without thinking about her, I can't walk around without thinking of whether she will be around or not. And each time that I hear somebody talking about her beside me, I kept on fighting the urge of screaming her name out loud
Never before in my life that a girl has completely taken me by heart. Growing up with only my family by my side, I've never being able to get close much with others. That's why it is so hard for me whenever I'm around her. I want to say I like you to her, but it is so hard. I want to get to know her, to have a deeper conversation, I want to her to smile to me everyday. But that's just it, I'm just too shy and just to bitter to let her know...
Now, I'm avoiding her. Since I can never talk to her again, I've decided to stay away from her, to not even glance at her dazzling beautiful eyes. Plus I think she already hated me for my silence and that my friend have a crush on her already before I did. But then again, I am always thinking about her smile, I'm always itching to call out her name out of the sudden. And all the unexpected encounter didn't help at all, I'm just missing her more and more
Ya Rabbi, how I've wrote so much here, and its all about my feeling towards her. That just shows how weak a person can be, not being able to show his feeling in reality. But what a person in love like me can really do?
Hmmph, lepas nih ramai plak yg kacau2 aku. Tapi aku x kesah dah...
Aduhai Anak
Wahai anak, apakah kau mengerti
Betapa deritanya
Ibu yang mengandung
Aduhai anak, apakah engkau tahu
Alangkah deritanya
Ibu melahirkanmu
Namun kelahiranmu, adalah penghibur hati
Dibelai dan dimanja setiap hari
Di malam hari tidur tak berwaktu
Tapi tak mengapa kerna kau disayangi
Hari-hari sudah pun berlalu
Usiamu makin bertambah
Seorang ibu sudah semakin tua
Namun terus berkorban untuk sesuap rezeki
Agar sempurna hari depanmu
Kini kau dewasa ibumu telah pergi
Waktu yang berlalu seakan memanggil
Sudahkah kau curahkan kasih sayangmu
Apakah terbalas segala jasanya
Syurga itu di bawah tapak kakinya
Hanyalah anak-anak yang soleh
Bisa memberikan kasih sayangnya
Hanyalah anak-anak yang soleh
Bisa mendoakan hari akhiratmu...
Betapa deritanya
Ibu yang mengandung
Aduhai anak, apakah engkau tahu
Alangkah deritanya
Ibu melahirkanmu
Namun kelahiranmu, adalah penghibur hati
Dibelai dan dimanja setiap hari
Di malam hari tidur tak berwaktu
Tapi tak mengapa kerna kau disayangi
Hari-hari sudah pun berlalu
Usiamu makin bertambah
Seorang ibu sudah semakin tua
Namun terus berkorban untuk sesuap rezeki
Agar sempurna hari depanmu
Kini kau dewasa ibumu telah pergi
Waktu yang berlalu seakan memanggil
Sudahkah kau curahkan kasih sayangmu
Apakah terbalas segala jasanya
Syurga itu di bawah tapak kakinya
Hanyalah anak-anak yang soleh
Bisa memberikan kasih sayangnya
Hanyalah anak-anak yang soleh
Bisa mendoakan hari akhiratmu...
My mom's the best. She's the only person that can understand me without saying a word, she's the only person that can calm my heart without me asking her to first. So yeah, perhaps I don't need to get ahead myself after all, no need to think so much about this crush feeling
And perhaps friendship is all I need right now, especially from her
Talking about friends, perhaps I've angered some of them. So much that perhaps they are already hating me and every presence of me. Today I skipped class on purpose for the very first time. Thing is, my group were supposed to present today, and since I was not there, they can't proceed. And plus, I'm supposed to hand in my part of the work to another person of my group, and we are supposed to present them this Monday
I really don't know what to do myself. Just because of some emotional turmoil, I've turned my back on the people that trusted me and let myself be such a jerk. Oh guys, I'm so sorry, if only I could have just told them directly...
Terasa nak balik rumah plak, tambah2 duit elaun 700 plus something dah masuk, XD
Puteri Gunung Ledang the Musical
Puteri Gunung Ledang the Musical was great last night, I might even say that it was splendid and amazing. With few heart-touching moment accompanied by some of the sweetest memorable quotes, its all thumbs up for the play that night. Even as I was sulling over a certain matter and was only keeping to myself and not talking to anyone else, the play did well enough to captivate me to focus on it instead, and in a way I'm glad for it
I know my face must've been real solemn then, and since I took the initiative to stay alone without no company whatsoever, people must really hate me by now, especially the Asasi TESL's. They must think that I'm a real snob or something, or I just did so to get sympathy. Mind ya, it was because of either, but then again, I'm not interested in telling anyway
PGL was about the theme of love, revolving around Gusti Putri and Laksamana Hang Tuah. But ironically, the play tonight didn't excite anymore love feelings in me anymore. I just can't trust myself with it, I'm just not good enough to handle such feeling. I should've known better than to try to grasp it by buying some gifts for her whereas I can use the money for something else better
If only it came earlier a day or two, PGL
Mari ponteng klas, dhla aku x tdo pg ni...
I know my face must've been real solemn then, and since I took the initiative to stay alone without no company whatsoever, people must really hate me by now, especially the Asasi TESL's. They must think that I'm a real snob or something, or I just did so to get sympathy. Mind ya, it was because of either, but then again, I'm not interested in telling anyway
PGL was about the theme of love, revolving around Gusti Putri and Laksamana Hang Tuah. But ironically, the play tonight didn't excite anymore love feelings in me anymore. I just can't trust myself with it, I'm just not good enough to handle such feeling. I should've known better than to try to grasp it by buying some gifts for her whereas I can use the money for something else better
If only it came earlier a day or two, PGL
Mari ponteng klas, dhla aku x tdo pg ni...
Messages
I want to say something, but the words are escaping me. I won't mind if I don't have the idea to post something here though the urge is there, but what's more important is what I want to say to people in my real life. It's so freaking annoying to not be able to say your heart's wishes to someone else, especially when the opportunity arises
The rain yesterday was so beautiful, the aftermath of it especially. The sunlight that pierced through the thin cloudy fog that lingered in the air, it was just so beautiful. Just like you, I would dare say, and I still remember our conversation during the rain, where the building is freezing cold, and I can only think of your dazzling eyes
Rambling stuff like this will only get me nowhere. But I felt it happening inside me, nevertheless
Puteri Gunung Ledang esok. Baju dah xdak, nak pakai apa?
The rain yesterday was so beautiful, the aftermath of it especially. The sunlight that pierced through the thin cloudy fog that lingered in the air, it was just so beautiful. Just like you, I would dare say, and I still remember our conversation during the rain, where the building is freezing cold, and I can only think of your dazzling eyes
Rambling stuff like this will only get me nowhere. But I felt it happening inside me, nevertheless
Puteri Gunung Ledang esok. Baju dah xdak, nak pakai apa?
Done and Over With
First of all, why is she afraid of me? I only wish for the best of her interest, perhaps my own stupid judgement is the one to blame...
Ooh, there's some story behind the elephant and the bird :P
Alhamdulillah, I've done both story telling and demonstrative speech and its all a thing of the past. Phew, relieve creeping up my nerve and spine, the feel of tingling with excitement as I went on to have fun in the corner lot of Meranti Section 2 corner. Okay, my words are already drowned in euphoric momentum XD
I must have looked terribly messed up when I was worrying about thinking on how to complete my demonstrative speech. Unexpectedly, I got a lot of support from my roommates and my groupmates. Those guys in my room, they went on to trouble themselves to accompany me to buy my materials just a day before Monday, though they are busy with their own assignments and tests. And my groupmates, the applause and the cheer they had given me in class, it somehow helped me conquer my own fear and be brave in front of the class
Hahah, perhaps I will treasure friends more than I'm used to ehh? I really felt like hugging all of my roommates when I got back into my room, and it is the same feeling with my groupmates. Yet, I felt awkward when I was about to do it, I don't know why, perhaps because the friendship I felt for them is still not strong enough plus I still can't open up to people just yet
If only I could only ditch away the awkwardness, it would've feel good right, to know that you can depend on someone...
Oh well
Sekarang bleh fokus kat test2 yang berlambak hahahaha :P
Ooh, there's some story behind the elephant and the bird :PI must have looked terribly messed up when I was worrying about thinking on how to complete my demonstrative speech. Unexpectedly, I got a lot of support from my roommates and my groupmates. Those guys in my room, they went on to trouble themselves to accompany me to buy my materials just a day before Monday, though they are busy with their own assignments and tests. And my groupmates, the applause and the cheer they had given me in class, it somehow helped me conquer my own fear and be brave in front of the class
Hahah, perhaps I will treasure friends more than I'm used to ehh? I really felt like hugging all of my roommates when I got back into my room, and it is the same feeling with my groupmates. Yet, I felt awkward when I was about to do it, I don't know why, perhaps because the friendship I felt for them is still not strong enough plus I still can't open up to people just yet
If only I could only ditch away the awkwardness, it would've feel good right, to know that you can depend on someone...
Oh well
Sekarang bleh fokus kat test2 yang berlambak hahahaha :P
You're a Jerk, Really
I really wish for someone to say that right in front of me right now. Preferably a girl, cause it won't hurt much for my ego and I will actually listen
The way I write, the way I act in faculty, I know that I've been such a big-headed fool. I become emotional unnecessarily, I spit out curses without warning, and I suddenly became so oblivious of what others think of me. Heck, I can still remember myself being so freaking bitter the time I got here in Shah Alam just about two weeks ago, and now after one accident, my emotions took over me again
I give advices to people, like don't let what others think about you decides what you do, but I don't really follow them myself. I meet new people, make new friends in the Net social places, yet in real life I avoid them, for the stupid reason of low self-esteem and stuff. I hate my family for what they did to me last holiday, I ignored them and stop calling them, yet they still remembered me, called to know how I'm doing and helped me solve some of my problems
Really, I can be a real snob. Though I'm not such a person inside, but the way I handles my own problems and feelings make me reacted in a really stupid way. So yeah, somebody mind giving me a piece of their mind and say how much of a jerk I am?
Oh and please, if you do plan on telling me that, give me a warning first okay? :P
Demonstrative speech, sumpahnya aku meluat...
The way I write, the way I act in faculty, I know that I've been such a big-headed fool. I become emotional unnecessarily, I spit out curses without warning, and I suddenly became so oblivious of what others think of me. Heck, I can still remember myself being so freaking bitter the time I got here in Shah Alam just about two weeks ago, and now after one accident, my emotions took over me again
I give advices to people, like don't let what others think about you decides what you do, but I don't really follow them myself. I meet new people, make new friends in the Net social places, yet in real life I avoid them, for the stupid reason of low self-esteem and stuff. I hate my family for what they did to me last holiday, I ignored them and stop calling them, yet they still remembered me, called to know how I'm doing and helped me solve some of my problems
Really, I can be a real snob. Though I'm not such a person inside, but the way I handles my own problems and feelings make me reacted in a really stupid way. So yeah, somebody mind giving me a piece of their mind and say how much of a jerk I am?
Oh and please, if you do plan on telling me that, give me a warning first okay? :P
Demonstrative speech, sumpahnya aku meluat...
Emo, Rock, Indie, and Symphonic Metal
When I look about and do some reflection on my life, I see myself as fickle as the weather, I changes my mind as easily as a girl changes her clothes. Many factor causes such behaviour, but I like to blame it mostly on hormones. Freaking hormones
Another one is music. Oh don't get me wrong. I love music, I always dream of being able to play both the guitar and the piano. I like listening to songs when my emotions went awry, I like to try understand lyrics that I can relate to my own life. Thing is, I like them so much sometime that I feel that they are controlling my life. Yeah, I'm addicted to music
No wonder my feelings are like iPod shuffle, though I don't have one
Bitter, emo, sweet, anger, dreamy, depression, hyper-active, tense, optimism, pessimism, painfully shy, talkative, SCREAMER. What kind of lyrics of my life do you like best?
Say, today is Valentine's Day. All TESLians are occupied from 8am to 4.30pm. Wonder how all the lovebirds are going to celebrate it ehh? Well, for me, its just not my thing, plus I got nobody to cherish my love for. So yeah, it will be like just another day, another 14th February that had passed me by 18 times already, same old same old...
Heck, I don't even celebrate my own birthday, why should I even bother?
8 sampai pukul 4.30? Sumpah aku tido jaa~
Another one is music. Oh don't get me wrong. I love music, I always dream of being able to play both the guitar and the piano. I like listening to songs when my emotions went awry, I like to try understand lyrics that I can relate to my own life. Thing is, I like them so much sometime that I feel that they are controlling my life. Yeah, I'm addicted to music
No wonder my feelings are like iPod shuffle, though I don't have one
Bitter, emo, sweet, anger, dreamy, depression, hyper-active, tense, optimism, pessimism, painfully shy, talkative, SCREAMER. What kind of lyrics of my life do you like best?
Say, today is Valentine's Day. All TESLians are occupied from 8am to 4.30pm. Wonder how all the lovebirds are going to celebrate it ehh? Well, for me, its just not my thing, plus I got nobody to cherish my love for. So yeah, it will be like just another day, another 14th February that had passed me by 18 times already, same old same old...
Heck, I don't even celebrate my own birthday, why should I even bother?
8 sampai pukul 4.30? Sumpah aku tido jaa~
Behind a Smile
Smile everybody. Its not like you often have the chance to smile at people and feel good about it. People judge people, people says bad thing about people, people stab people behind their back, and in the end a smile is all what's worth out of social life. Okay, let's keep the glass half-full before I ruin your reading mood...
If, there are people reading my blog. Here goes the sarcasm again...
Thank goodness I still got some good friends that I can goof off with so that I can be like myself again. Even if I am still being secretive with them, at least they know who I truly am, and I won't need to bother to feel judged by them, and be bitter about life again. Yeah, they know a part of my loneliness, a part of my pain, and they had seen me scream in agony, they had witnessed me cursing at people for no apparent reason sometimes because the world sucks. So yeah, I'm most comfortable with them now
So why, humans being that is a part of the society out there, why are you so judgemental of people you barely know? Why can't you be like my friends here, and just let me be myself huh?
I admit, my face, my figure, my image, all are not what they call beautiful, or even, decent. Yeah, I'm ugly. Yet I don't mind if you first met me, you said that I have such a sour face, because I rarely talk to strangers, pretty much smile to them. But when I tried to be nice, I tried people, and I smiled to them, why do you just have say that the smile means something else? Why can't I just smile for the pleasure of it, of at least trying to be nice to people?
Am I just too freaking hideous for you people to see, and you would just rather not see me at all?
Its not that I wanted to be like this, to write in such a solemn style. People judge me, and I don't know how to response. Should I just ignore you guys, people will just keep saying that I'm emo. You think I like that?
I'm a weak person. I need attention more than ever cause I'm getting farther and farther away from my family. Please don't judge me at whatever I'm doing, please don't leave me with harsh decisions
Please...
Dunia...
If, there are people reading my blog. Here goes the sarcasm again...
Thank goodness I still got some good friends that I can goof off with so that I can be like myself again. Even if I am still being secretive with them, at least they know who I truly am, and I won't need to bother to feel judged by them, and be bitter about life again. Yeah, they know a part of my loneliness, a part of my pain, and they had seen me scream in agony, they had witnessed me cursing at people for no apparent reason sometimes because the world sucks. So yeah, I'm most comfortable with them now
So why, humans being that is a part of the society out there, why are you so judgemental of people you barely know? Why can't you be like my friends here, and just let me be myself huh?
I admit, my face, my figure, my image, all are not what they call beautiful, or even, decent. Yeah, I'm ugly. Yet I don't mind if you first met me, you said that I have such a sour face, because I rarely talk to strangers, pretty much smile to them. But when I tried to be nice, I tried people, and I smiled to them, why do you just have say that the smile means something else? Why can't I just smile for the pleasure of it, of at least trying to be nice to people?
Am I just too freaking hideous for you people to see, and you would just rather not see me at all?
Its not that I wanted to be like this, to write in such a solemn style. People judge me, and I don't know how to response. Should I just ignore you guys, people will just keep saying that I'm emo. You think I like that?
I'm a weak person. I need attention more than ever cause I'm getting farther and farther away from my family. Please don't judge me at whatever I'm doing, please don't leave me with harsh decisions
Please...
Dunia...
Black Cat
Now why people have this bias towards black cat? Saying that the presence of black cat will only bring you bad luck and stuff, and they even had to associate the cats with death. And so, people will naturally have fear for the cat, shooing them away and some are cruel enough to even beat them down. Oh yeah, perhaps you all take pride in knowing the so called general knowledge and you feels good doing that don't you?
Well fuck (just for the purpose of exaggeration, not trying to be rude) all those orthodox stuff. I myself take pride in being different and weird and unconventional, see?
This weekend I spent the free time by joining the guys in my room in an all around Shah Alam tour plus some cam-whoring session going on, so imagine all the excitement plus the heat from the sun combined to truly wear you down to oblivion. And as we were walking back to the comfort of our room, Iwas truly wrecked, physically and emotionally. I don't want to talk about what really happened, which poor soul that I shouted at when I scoffed him off for betraying my trust three times in a row and kept calling me emo
And so I deliberately kept my distance from the group. Not wanting to cause any more stupid scene, I kept my distance. Then, I saw a black cat crossing in front of me, and it stopped in front of the orphanage. Should I be another norm of the society, I will perhaps run away screaming for my mother. But no, I went to pet the black cat...
And she unexpectedly rubbed her head against me. I was surprised, "Bukankah kucing-kucing kat Shah Alam nih semua kerek-kerek belaka hah?"
It suddenly struck me as if an idea suddenly popped into my head. She was so playful, she was longing to play with someone, it was her nature to be like that. But I know that, with people being bias towards black cat, she was probably all alone this time where are so afraid of her, while she only wanted to have some company. I've heard from a friend of mine that in their dorm, there's a black cat that always linger around people, but people kept pushing it away just because it is black. I mean, like, wtf?! And here in front of me, a really beautiful, playful and adorable, silk like furs that can match of the Persians, lonely cat, black as it is
As I leave her behind after staying there for about half an hour plus its really late into the night, I can see that she was still following me. I ignored her while striding ahead, with such difficulties, for that I know it will be better for her to stay around. And she stayed, while looking at me, just like most cat would stare at someone. Huh, those deadly stares that delves deep into one's soul, I was hoping that I could see it again, even as faint as thin air that hope can be
The very next day, I found the cat lying dead on the divider of the road between the Wetworld and the Medan, near the orphanage where I found the cat yesterday
My head surged with fury, and I was cursing silently under my breath. I glanced at passing by cars as if they were responsible for the death, and I almost ran into one. I was holding back something strong inside me, but it was not tears. And I just walked by, with my friends from yesterday and I was hiding my sadness within. My words are jumbled, and my sights are uneven. It was such a blasted sighting, and my current bitter mood didn't help at all with the current situation
What's a cat to you? Do you consider them as just some animals to play with? Something to hold on when you're sad or lonely? Or you really care for them, and living with them, you trust that they have a soul so you feel connected to them somehow?
I din't feel too connected to the black cat, our meeting was destined to be too short. Plus the memories of seven generations of my very first cat still linger fresh inside my head. It just that, I see myself inside the cat's eyes. I see someone who is lonely, but are reaching out for someone to hold on
I remember the day a favorite cat died.
At dawn I carried him into the garden and laid him on a bed of mint,
Still breathing.
The eyes I had known for almost thirteen years followed me about.
When the post arrived, he gave a short purr.
It had been his habit since a kitten.
It was his last link with my world of manuscripts and books.
Our parting would be soon.
Later when I wrapped him in an old cardigan
I thought of Anatole France and St. Mael's
baptism of the penguins
And how St. Catherine had said:
"Give them souls -- but tiny ones."
I will settle for that
For my cat.
By Neville Baybrooke
As the death tabs keep going on and on, I find myself depressed more and more...
Kucing2 Shah Alam banyak comel, tp kerek~~~
Well fuck (just for the purpose of exaggeration, not trying to be rude) all those orthodox stuff. I myself take pride in being different and weird and unconventional, see?
This weekend I spent the free time by joining the guys in my room in an all around Shah Alam tour plus some cam-whoring session going on, so imagine all the excitement plus the heat from the sun combined to truly wear you down to oblivion. And as we were walking back to the comfort of our room, Iwas truly wrecked, physically and emotionally. I don't want to talk about what really happened, which poor soul that I shouted at when I scoffed him off for betraying my trust three times in a row and kept calling me emo
And so I deliberately kept my distance from the group. Not wanting to cause any more stupid scene, I kept my distance. Then, I saw a black cat crossing in front of me, and it stopped in front of the orphanage. Should I be another norm of the society, I will perhaps run away screaming for my mother. But no, I went to pet the black cat...
And she unexpectedly rubbed her head against me. I was surprised, "Bukankah kucing-kucing kat Shah Alam nih semua kerek-kerek belaka hah?"
It suddenly struck me as if an idea suddenly popped into my head. She was so playful, she was longing to play with someone, it was her nature to be like that. But I know that, with people being bias towards black cat, she was probably all alone this time where are so afraid of her, while she only wanted to have some company. I've heard from a friend of mine that in their dorm, there's a black cat that always linger around people, but people kept pushing it away just because it is black. I mean, like, wtf?! And here in front of me, a really beautiful, playful and adorable, silk like furs that can match of the Persians, lonely cat, black as it is
As I leave her behind after staying there for about half an hour plus its really late into the night, I can see that she was still following me. I ignored her while striding ahead, with such difficulties, for that I know it will be better for her to stay around. And she stayed, while looking at me, just like most cat would stare at someone. Huh, those deadly stares that delves deep into one's soul, I was hoping that I could see it again, even as faint as thin air that hope can be
The very next day, I found the cat lying dead on the divider of the road between the Wetworld and the Medan, near the orphanage where I found the cat yesterday
My head surged with fury, and I was cursing silently under my breath. I glanced at passing by cars as if they were responsible for the death, and I almost ran into one. I was holding back something strong inside me, but it was not tears. And I just walked by, with my friends from yesterday and I was hiding my sadness within. My words are jumbled, and my sights are uneven. It was such a blasted sighting, and my current bitter mood didn't help at all with the current situation
What's a cat to you? Do you consider them as just some animals to play with? Something to hold on when you're sad or lonely? Or you really care for them, and living with them, you trust that they have a soul so you feel connected to them somehow?
I din't feel too connected to the black cat, our meeting was destined to be too short. Plus the memories of seven generations of my very first cat still linger fresh inside my head. It just that, I see myself inside the cat's eyes. I see someone who is lonely, but are reaching out for someone to hold on
I remember the day a favorite cat died.
At dawn I carried him into the garden and laid him on a bed of mint,
Still breathing.
The eyes I had known for almost thirteen years followed me about.
When the post arrived, he gave a short purr.
It had been his habit since a kitten.
It was his last link with my world of manuscripts and books.
Our parting would be soon.
Later when I wrapped him in an old cardigan
I thought of Anatole France and St. Mael's
baptism of the penguins
And how St. Catherine had said:
"Give them souls -- but tiny ones."
I will settle for that
For my cat.
By Neville Baybrooke
As the death tabs keep going on and on, I find myself depressed more and more...
Kucing2 Shah Alam banyak comel, tp kerek~~~
What Now?
I wonder, for the second time, what is the real purpose of creating this blog? Is it for the purpose of fulfilling my own need of attention? Both in the same time, I was afraid of people looking at me, judging me in every aspect, yet I long for someone to talk to me, to listen to me for a change instead of me listening to other people
When I raised this question before, a good friend advised me to write from my heart. Thanks for that one useful piece, I got my peace and was able to write again. And now, the same questions rose again, but I am seeing it in a different perspective now
Hmmph. Whatever jelaa
Sumpah tension...
When I raised this question before, a good friend advised me to write from my heart. Thanks for that one useful piece, I got my peace and was able to write again. And now, the same questions rose again, but I am seeing it in a different perspective now
Hmmph. Whatever jelaa
Sumpah tension...
Recap, Tag
Say, I got better response than I could've ever hoped for. And yuh, some request to do a return tag, so here I am doing it all over again... So yeah, using Pajid's way of doing her tag, here I go again, minus the question 11 until 23
Pajid = P
Khairil aka Abg Libas2 = K
1. What is the relationship of you and him/her?
P-dia kawan baru aku merangkap pengerusi aku XD
K-one of the Damai boys back then in Beseri XD
2. Your impressions towards him/her.
P-a beautiful girl with an attitude to match it with XD one real crazy yet funny girl
K-gila2, lawak2, muka perogol tp baek hati XDXDXD
3. The most memorable things he/she had done for you.
P-one of the very few person that had ever listened to me :)
K-I had a fight with him once, but he's the one that said sorry first. thank you dude, thank you for that one
5. If he/she become your lover, you will..
P-die out of shock! XD
K-sheesh, WTH?!
6. If he/she become your enemy, you will...
P-ketuk balik kepala dia, lari~~~
K-nope, I won't even consider that one
7. If he/she become your lover, he/she has to improve on his/her
P- nothing
K-sheesh kebab betul lah~ XD
8. If he/she become your enemy, the reason is...
P-no
K-question 6's answer
9. The most desirable thing to do on him/her is
P-blanja dia makan kat Hijazi
K-play wrestling with him, XD x sempat time kat Beseri dulu :P
10. The overall impression of him/her is...
P-I don't know, somehow I feel that we have something in common, though I know, she is a better person than me, she knows how to handle herself. hahah, cakap bnyk macam aku dh kenal dia lama dh, who am I to give her any impression at all? I like her the way she is, that's all
-eventhough he talks bullshit so much, he's such a good company to have around. now that he has a girlfriend now XD, i think that he will be better person now :)
For question 11 to finish, well if you insist to know, take a look here
Oh yeah, shall I tag another person? Let's see who I missed before... Emellia, mind doing me the full tag for me? Eheh, XD
Selasa, xdak kelas satu hari ini, dengan bangganya saya melaporkan XD hehe
Pajid = P
Khairil aka Abg Libas2 = K
1. What is the relationship of you and him/her?
P-dia kawan baru aku merangkap pengerusi aku XD
K-one of the Damai boys back then in Beseri XD
2. Your impressions towards him/her.
P-a beautiful girl with an attitude to match it with XD one real crazy yet funny girl
K-gila2, lawak2, muka perogol tp baek hati XDXDXD
3. The most memorable things he/she had done for you.
P-one of the very few person that had ever listened to me :)
K-I had a fight with him once, but he's the one that said sorry first. thank you dude, thank you for that one
5. If he/she become your lover, you will..
P-die out of shock! XD
K-sheesh, WTH?!
6. If he/she become your enemy, you will...
P-ketuk balik kepala dia, lari~~~
K-nope, I won't even consider that one
7. If he/she become your lover, he/she has to improve on his/her
P- nothing
K-sheesh kebab betul lah~ XD
8. If he/she become your enemy, the reason is...
P-no
K-question 6's answer
9. The most desirable thing to do on him/her is
P-blanja dia makan kat Hijazi
K-play wrestling with him, XD x sempat time kat Beseri dulu :P
10. The overall impression of him/her is...
P-I don't know, somehow I feel that we have something in common, though I know, she is a better person than me, she knows how to handle herself. hahah, cakap bnyk macam aku dh kenal dia lama dh, who am I to give her any impression at all? I like her the way she is, that's all
-eventhough he talks bullshit so much, he's such a good company to have around. now that he has a girlfriend now XD, i think that he will be better person now :)
For question 11 to finish, well if you insist to know, take a look here
Oh yeah, shall I tag another person? Let's see who I missed before... Emellia, mind doing me the full tag for me? Eheh, XD
Selasa, xdak kelas satu hari ini, dengan bangganya saya melaporkan XD hehe
Listen, you and all of you
Thanks to the kind old lady residing over at the outside of INTEC condo(?). After one rough ride from Jitra to Shah Alam, a little kindness is all that I needed to make it up for all the sorrow that I will soon implies on myself should thing will get only worse
But oh wth. Chinese New Year is not that fun anyways, though the kids did drop by and gave me the oppurtunity to be the crazy uncle again, which was fun, as always. But now, somebody just have to ruin the moment for me. Sheesh, if you can no longer understand me, don't try. I'm a changed person now, and if you and them still see me as the same old Ariff, well try asking me now what do I think of now. Perhaps back then you can guess and it will be accurate, but no more now
Yeah, I'm talking about you, the one that thinks she knows so much about me
And you think that you can still delve into my mind by having access to my blog. Huh, whatever jelaa. Because of it, it was such a hectic week with me having fun and then sorrow kicks in and fun again, back to sorrow, round and round that I feel dizzy thinking about it. Now I just want to forget all about it, because I know, I lost something back then, and it hurts
I lost the support that I had been clinging on since I was a child. It will be better off if I just forget about it, and continue being the person I'm trying to change into now. It will hurt now, but it will be better soon, it just have to
So for the first time, I was glad to head out of home, and travel south to Shah Alam, though I always wanted to go further to Johor XD. Cut to the chase, the bus departed 11pm of Sunday night, meaning that the moment I get off the bus, I will be rushing next to class. I really thought that I can take some taxi or even RapidKL, pfft, to Meranti and run back to INTEC. But like shit it was that morning, my luck wasn't so good
Pissed off, I marched to INTEC, and stopped at the condo in front of the INTEC. I must look really lost, as some old lady went ahead to say good morning. Despite the real bad mood I am in, I smiled back, and chatted a bit with her. Afterwards, I said that I need to change my clothes and she said that I can use her house's bathroom. I was flabbergasted at first with her kind offer, but I gladly accepted it
Saying thanks, I went straight into INTEC with both of my real-damn-big luggage that I was carrying with me, and just in lucks, the INTEC students just arrived in their little carriage of INTEC busses. Stares and more stares. Ignoring their stupid stares, I just walked on without a word or even a glance to them. Thinking back, I would never had done this, as I was always afraid of what other people might think of me, the same reason that I was so shy in public
I had become more bitter, but at least I'm do not sympathize myself anymore. Bitter, lonelier, but that's better than emo-maniacal, huh
Hey, now I know. I like group B so much now. I think that the class is even more fun than group A of last year, no hard-feeling now guys!
Makin letih aku, makin gila aku jadinya ehh? Sumpah terbaik~~~
But oh wth. Chinese New Year is not that fun anyways, though the kids did drop by and gave me the oppurtunity to be the crazy uncle again, which was fun, as always. But now, somebody just have to ruin the moment for me. Sheesh, if you can no longer understand me, don't try. I'm a changed person now, and if you and them still see me as the same old Ariff, well try asking me now what do I think of now. Perhaps back then you can guess and it will be accurate, but no more now
Yeah, I'm talking about you, the one that thinks she knows so much about me
And you think that you can still delve into my mind by having access to my blog. Huh, whatever jelaa. Because of it, it was such a hectic week with me having fun and then sorrow kicks in and fun again, back to sorrow, round and round that I feel dizzy thinking about it. Now I just want to forget all about it, because I know, I lost something back then, and it hurts
I lost the support that I had been clinging on since I was a child. It will be better off if I just forget about it, and continue being the person I'm trying to change into now. It will hurt now, but it will be better soon, it just have to
So for the first time, I was glad to head out of home, and travel south to Shah Alam, though I always wanted to go further to Johor XD. Cut to the chase, the bus departed 11pm of Sunday night, meaning that the moment I get off the bus, I will be rushing next to class. I really thought that I can take some taxi or even RapidKL, pfft, to Meranti and run back to INTEC. But like shit it was that morning, my luck wasn't so good
Pissed off, I marched to INTEC, and stopped at the condo in front of the INTEC. I must look really lost, as some old lady went ahead to say good morning. Despite the real bad mood I am in, I smiled back, and chatted a bit with her. Afterwards, I said that I need to change my clothes and she said that I can use her house's bathroom. I was flabbergasted at first with her kind offer, but I gladly accepted it
Saying thanks, I went straight into INTEC with both of my real-damn-big luggage that I was carrying with me, and just in lucks, the INTEC students just arrived in their little carriage of INTEC busses. Stares and more stares. Ignoring their stupid stares, I just walked on without a word or even a glance to them. Thinking back, I would never had done this, as I was always afraid of what other people might think of me, the same reason that I was so shy in public
I had become more bitter, but at least I'm do not sympathize myself anymore. Bitter, lonelier, but that's better than emo-maniacal, huh
Hey, now I know. I like group B so much now. I think that the class is even more fun than group A of last year, no hard-feeling now guys!
Makin letih aku, makin gila aku jadinya ehh? Sumpah terbaik~~~
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