What My Dad Taught Me This Raya

I had always thought that I know him fully well, and that he could never understands me, especially during my teen years. I thought that whatever that he does for my family, it was just for the sake of it, because it was his responsibilities. How wrong I am, and now I despise myself for thinking that way, and acted the wrong attitudes towards my father

How complex this world really is. When you thought that things is in black and white, later you found out the truth is really stranger than fiction. We always hear people giving advice, remember those phrase, 'orang tua tua kata' stuff, we understand them literally, but we never really give a thought of just why our grand elders said that. For example, 'air yang tenang jangan disangka tiada buaya', come on now, whenever you're exploring new places and meeting new people, remember this saying every time. You'll find that your perspective will be different, and you'll understand

Life, as have been perfectly staged by God, is not just about you and yourself, you're living with a thousand others soul that is somehow got their fate entwined with yours. Basically, as nobody in this world can live without the company of other human being, you depend on others. But Allah Ar-Rahman gaves us the best gift after the chance to be able to live, which is our family, especially our mom and our dad

After Allah and Rasulullah pbuh, there's our mom. I love my mom, my mom, my mom, three times. After that, only come our father. And yet, we always put our father aside. Whenever life hits us with downfalls and sorrow, we always turn to our mom for support. Yet, we had never realized how much that our father had sacrified in order to give us a comfortable life. A research had been done to find out about the role of father of bringing up a successful child, and they found out that father is the one responsible to teach their children to survive in this world, while the mums are responsible for teaching them love and compassion. See, that's why we need both our mum and our dad

He beat me up when I skipped class, and I hold a grunge toward him. He refused to let me hang out with friends other than my cousins, and I secretly hates him. He forced me to go to MRSM which I refused to do so, and I started to avoid him. Lesson learnt after 10 years of hate? Now I'm not a loser who won't go to school just because I hate studying, and now I'm fortunate that I can still further my studies. Now I don't waste time to go lepak with my friends, and I never got involved in negative things such as smoking and stuff. Now that I've been to MRSM, I've learned to be more sociable and not to be as painfully shy as I am before

Here's some secret. I had always wanted to have some children. And I know how corny that may sound, but that is what I feel, and it's not that I wanted to get married soon, pfftt, gatal la tuh. But what I mean is, since I'm used to be surrounded by babies, somehow I get the urge to have children of my own. I feel like holding a baby of my own, feeding them, playing with them, and to have them crying for me whenever they find themselves in trouble, Abah, Abah. But eventually, I found out that it is real hard to have a children. Children is the gift Allah gives to a family, therefore, we have to care for them and nurture them so that they can fight for Islam and the country. Imagine, all their sins is a fathers, and that's how big a father's responsibilities is

I can't pretend that I'm one happy guy that is never worried by his troubles anymore. This Raya had taught me a lot, more than I could ever learn before. Remember how all of us, particularly during this age, said that Raya is never the same as the one during our childhood? Get used to it, because when you are starting to feel that way, it is the sign that we are preparing to be the one that's gonna prepare that atmosphere for our childrens. We are going to tell them how we celebrate Raya back then, and finally having them to have Raya of their own, a better one at that

This time around, it will be my dad's 63rd Raya. After so long, he is finally ready to give some of his responsiblities to me after all this while passing his knowledge to me. I don't know, this burden somehow felt too heavy for me to carry. I was told of some dark secret of this family that I've never known before, yet I understand why it was hidden from me all this while. But I know, bit by bit, I have to take my father's responsibilities and carry on his legacy. It's the only thing I could do to repay all the knowledge that he had given me, and the place now that I'm standing here, all because of him

I know, people will probably never read until this line, but that is what it was meant to be anyway. I just wrote this for my own satisfaction, it just came out of nowhere. But who cares anyway aite? I'm just happy that I could write this down somewhere...

16 comments:

  1. may u be a good Abah..

    and im sure u will..

    sound scary kan? tp itu pujian jujur..

    ReplyDelete
  2. thnkz 4 da honesty
    i don't care abt how it sounds
    i just kind of need to hear it
    thnkz again miyn

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am more closer to my mum. Really.

    Hmmm... i don't know lah. Perhaps, mums, being nurturers have proficiencies to deal with emotional matters. Dads seem a little material oriented eg. daily expenditures, bills, cars, and so on.

    ReplyDelete
  4. of course, that's what I'm stressing here

    people are closer to our mums because mum are more spiritually connected to us rather than our dad, it seems like the case with everyone else involving their mum and their dad

    of course, some of us would never talk to our dad abt our feelings, we normally prefer our mom, but what i'm stressing here is what my dad had done for me, and didn't care if the child hates him, as long as his child is successful

    tht's a different kind of love, which i had only realized. im not putting aside my mums love, its just a little tribute to my dad for all tht he had done to me

    ReplyDelete
  5. salam arif,
    seriously your story touch my heart.
    umm.....i had the same feeling about my dad.
    can't say much about him.....too hard for me.
    i love him but.....i don't know!
    just wish i have the oppurtunity to be a better child to my father.
    for now,i just can hope.


    btw,this is rher speaking!

    ReplyDelete
  6. salam haris
    i think, we don't need to say anything to say that we love our dad
    just do like what they did, by action
    which means tht by being successful in our life
    it is their dreams to see their child to be better than them in life

    ReplyDelete
  7. is this the effect of Aidilfitri? :p

    ReplyDelete
  8. I don't know lah (damn, I like this phrase). It seems like a 'cross gender' relationship between our parents. Daughters are more closer with dads and vice versa.

    Agree kah??

    ReplyDelete
  9. Speaking about your dad, perhaps your story is similar to mine. My dad once a short-tempered person. Everything seemed like a no-no for him. For God sake I hate him then. But now I realized he did that for me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. well yeah
    maybe its the same story everywhere

    ReplyDelete
  11. assalamulaikum.

    hey, i read til the last line. well i did skip 1 or 2 paragraph :D
    but but stil get wht the main point is.

    it mite be a number of ppl who share ths thought but lyk u said, u wrote ths for ur own satisfaction which others mite prefer keepin it.
    im pretty sure it is.
    its lyk different stories.
    but a same point.
    'appreciation'

    ReplyDelete
  12. waalaikumsalam.

    haha, i guess
    bingo

    ReplyDelete
  13. Very well said.

    I mean it sincerely.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you, Nad

    I really appreciate it.

    :)

    ReplyDelete