I'm Gay, as in Happy Gay

Salam. Have I told you before somewhere in my previous post that being a teen really sucks?

I don't know why I'm really happy these past two days. And I don't know why how easily I can go back down rock-bottom in just one night. As fickle as the weather, as bitchy as having a headache huh~

She seems to be hurt, and aloof lately. Walking alone, staying in library alone. She kind of bickered at me when I talked to her earlier. Well, either it is because I'm Mickey Mouse-annoyingly-happy today or I care so much for her, perhaps both, yeah, that I just hold my tongue, let the bitter silence fills the air, sucking in oh crap!

She's a friend, a special one at that too. I just really wish that she would just open up to me, and goddamn tell me what's wrong. I get hurt easily, she get hurt easily, of course I care for her, she used to do the same to me, and I'm restless now that I can't do the same, to return the favour

And the others, I can't understand it, why you guys just won't hate me for what I did? Easy right, I don't do my work, abhor me. Criticize my lame work that I somehow finished. Damn virus, damn laptop, damn PRESENTATION! Now I'm having glances of thought of my UNGA experiences, where I was shamed in front of about a hundred people, my seniors at that. I wonder how come I still had the courage to speak in front of others anymore ehh?

Giddy, the headache's gone, but then why? I saw her just now, and she wore black too, full attire. She seems to be happy, so I'll just leave it at that, denying the bloody urge to just go to her and say hi. Hell yeah I still miss her, and she is still ignoring me like hell, like her usual self. Oh yeah, I've heard that she hates it when I write about her here. Haha, sucker~ I love you, why would in the freaking cold INTEC library would I care ehh?

Oh shit. Now I'm seeing Mickey Mouse and the lot in his show doing their silly dance right now. I blame Umar for this because he always insist on watching that lalala~ kids' show channel, and whenever I changed it to Animax, he would be screaming and throwing tantrum and my mom would usher me to just change back the channel. Ala ehh, the luxury of being the baby of the house

Wait, now why am I writing about that one? I think I'm high right now...

HIGH ON A SENSELESS HAPPYNESS THAT CAME FROM NOWHERE

Weird. I'm missing the depressed and suicidal notion-loving me haha :P

Aku nak buat blog baru lah, guna profile lain~

4 comments:

  1. Hahaha, it's funny seeing you, all happy like this. Very amusing. But hey, why a new blog though?

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  2. Hahaha, well, this rare condition only happen during the morning, and usually dissapears completely by the time of Maghrib, where we break our fast, ironically haha

    oh yeah, new blog.
    one reason, my sis reads my blog too
    so i need another blog to devise evil schemes
    like eloping with another girl
    i don't want to be caught halfway, and my sis saying "i read ur blog"
    so really truly uncool ^^

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  3. omggggggggggggggggggg. ure in love again!

    ReplyDelete