Drama Night

He stood under the trees in the dark, waiting beside the old-looking Saga car. Even though it was unusually warm that night plus that he is very tired from before, he was very calm, his face betraying nothing of what he is actually feeling inside. As he gazed at the full moon in the sky, he can still remember that smile that made it all worth it, to made the night a night to remember for the rest of his life.

He took another glance at the last message that he got from before. This time, he can't help it but to just let out a hint of smile at the corner of his mouth.

"Thanks for the balloon =)"

A sigh, and then another smile, a bigger one in fact. The watch's needle is about to strike midnight, yet the friends that he is waiting for was still not there, and he sighed again. This particular midnight was both significant and insignificant for him, in a way that even he himself can't explain. He wondered of whether he should just told them all about it, for at least if even things would just stay the same, at least there would be some acknowledgement, something that has always been missing the last year's midnight, and the previous one before.

He shook his head hard. It doesn't matter, whether they know or not. It's what the night is all about was all that matters. The team has tried their hardest to pull off the best play and acting they ever had done in their life, and all the hard work, the bickering, the time lost for this night, it was the utmost importance. He never cared all these time before, why should he be this year? He had sacrificed so many for his friends before as his friends did for him, that's everything enough for him.

She smiled at him today. She talked to him, wished him good luck for the play. And today, he felt real close to her for the first time, and not as just some mutual friend of the batch like how he had seen her as before this.

But he knew, nothing will ever change how he feels for the opposite. He knew that he will end up hurting her, and also himself. The past experience had taught him to never open himself to others ever again. He will always just view her as a friend, nothing will ever change...

Suddenly, his phone ringed, and he picked it up from the top of the car. He thought it was them guys, perhaps they are caught up in something or whatever. But her name came up on the screen, the very same name that was listed as the last one who sent him messages, name of the which the smile that he kept seeing in his head belongs to.

"Heyy, Assalamualaikum..."

"Waalaikumsalam... Yes, what's wrong? Is there anything that I can help?" He never got a call from her and had not expected it, and never during this time at that. He was beginning to feel the nerve up on his spine.

"..." She just stayed silent, and he felt as if the darkness of his surrounding began to creep on him.

"Hee, Happy Birthday!"

"Wha?... happy birthday?"

"Yes, Happy Birthday! It's your birthday right?"

"Yea, yea, I suppose, now it's past midnight already..." He looked at his watch, already a smile was forming on his lips. "But I thought you'd..."

"Heee. You thought I'd forget didn't you? Well, Happy Birthday again!" She sounded very cheery, contrary of what she looked like before, exhausted because of the drama night. But that's one thing about her, one moment she could be as silent as the dead, one moment she could bring life to the room.

And he was glad that night, she had shared that life for him. She's the first one ever, to wish him happy birthday, on the exact moment of the midnight moment, called him to do so, where even his own family never did that. He had never expected anyone to even know his birthday, pretty much even remember about it. And yet, here she was, out of all the person that he had expected...

As much as he was smiling so widely that it hurts, tears were fast rolling down his cheeks.

She said goodnight, she said good luck for the finals, and she said to him to have fun with whatever he was planning to do with the guys. He said goodbye, cleaned the tears off his face using his palm, and said goodbye again and a thankyou. The guys arrived, and it was time for the nightout gaming for all of them.

"Why are you smiling so much like a fool?" Asked one of them, realizing the big silly grin on his face.

"Haha, it's nothing."

"Well, let's go then. Drama night is over, and we got another week until the final exam for Asasi, let's go knock ourself out people."

He sat in front, ignoring his friends conversation beside him, and gazed at the full moon up in the sky. Perhaps this is a sign for him, a sign for him to finally open up his heart again for a girl. Perhaps this is the time that he finally step out of the shadow of the loneliness that he lived all the time as he was growing up, perhaps it is the time that he shares it all with someone that he can trust his heart with.

Someone that he can finally say that he loves, without regretting it and meaning it with all his soul...

How he forgot that he is not meant to love someone, and to be loved. How his action will affect both of them in the future. How deeply hurt he will be when she will part with him, being so close and yet so far...

Midnight, 11th of April

2 comments:

  1. well, there's no disclaimer saying
    tiada kaitan dengan yang hidup mahupun yang telah mati
    :PP

    ReplyDelete