Salam. It's been a while, but yeah that's life. I know that both of my sisters are reading my blog like hawk they are, and I wonder if the other one are reading it as well. I don't mind really, as they never did say anything about it, but recently, she does mentioned it, to my father. I'm like huh?, when my father told me
Such a letdown. Blogger blogging is not what it is used to be, I no longer feel like writing like I'm used to
And here I am, after being absent from blogging for quite some time, there is so much I want to write about. Thing I got from the short period that I went home, yeah now I'm already back in Shah Alam despite Ayah insisting on me to stay home a bit longer. That new anime that is being broadcasted simultaneously with Japan airtime, Tears to Tiara and Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. I just watched Ghost on 8TV, and realised how good it is and regretted of missing the first season. And that book Devil's Place by Brian Gomez, such an amazing piece of excellent writing, and it has been so long since I had any time to read any book at all
Really, this wonderfully long post would be dedicated upon these things, but no. I just don't have the mood for it now. Oh whatever jelaa...
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Yeah, its something I picked up during my journey in life, but this experience made me a believer. I can't stop thinking about her. But now things had changed. The more I think about her, the more I started to realize it all. She's the Beauty, while I'm the Beast here. She got all this admirers, she is so perfect and imperfect that it is impossible not to love her. While I am the silent and anti-social dude, they kept on calling me emo, though I hate it when they call me that, especially if my non-understanding family said that. I don't see any way that we can get together, and perhaps she feels that way also
Yeah perhaps. After what she is doing to me after that night, yeah
I do not meant for this post to be all melancholic or whatsoever theme you may call to accuse of being an emo chap, because I'm actually happy. Yeah I'm happy. Despite I'm feeling sad of leaving home so early eventhough I was the one who decided to come back to Shah Alam earlier. I wanted to leave home so much before, but at the night of my departure, that sad feeling of leaving your home came still, and my mom's still sick, I'm worried of her. Yeah I'm happy. Despite being feeling all lonely in Shah Alam, where I thought that I can find salvation of company here. In fact, I have Apek to accompany me, and me to accompany him, but he have Effy to accompany him sometime, yeah leaving me alone here still
Yeah I'm happy. Because Allah still gives me a chance to live and breathe in this world, and to let me feel all of this feelings that I have. I'm happy to still be loving my family, no matter what happens. I'm happy to still have all these wonderful friends, no matter how lonely I am at times
I'm happy to feel this for her, to know that such a feeling can exist in me, to know how beautiful it is inside. Even if I'm hurt all the way...
It's not so hard to make a resolution sometimes, because you just have to do it. I will not expect anything from her, yet I will still be waiting. I will stop trying to forget it all, because that is just impossible. I got to repair my relationships with people, no matter how far-fetched that idea is, considering how things have been going on lately. Oh what the hell~
Music is my escapism from it all now. I edged out drawing long ago since I got no talent whatsoever in drawing. Oh yeah, listening to M. Pryor playing Yasunori Mitsuda's piece got me excited and wanting to learn more about playing instruments. Haha, can anyone give me a Gibson acoustic and teach me how to play it? I'll love you till the end of time :)
There you go, Emellia. I've updated haha~
Kenapa datang je Shah Alam jadi malas gila nak mandi ni ehh? Sumpahan Kolej Meranti ke ehh?