Jealousy

Salam. Let's talk about jealousy, shall we? No no, its not about me, but an accident that happened between friends that I care so much for made me pondering on such a subject

Anyone, have you ever been deeply in love with somebody so much that you can't imagine a future without your partner? Like, you're so in love with the other that such a notion like a life without him or her is impossible and there's no way you can possibly live with it? If yes, imagine this. One day he or she did something so terrible and so heartbreaking that you may find it so hard to believe and to forgive him or her. People may say that it is just a normal jealousy and you're overreacting. Yet deep inside you don't feel that way, you feel hurt way beyond your minds and your understanding

I wouldn't know, because I'm yet to experience such love and hurt in my life. But here I am, facing them, the people that I care for, having to go through all of this. And I am helpless in front of them. I don't know how to put the words that can calm then, and I felt a pang of guilt for this. Before, they had helped me so much, listened to my problems that I can't share with my own family, and now, I can't do the same. And I feel so stupid and ashamed

Its all because of her jealousy. One can't really blame her though, as easy as it may seem. Because it really matters to her, and at the very least I can see that, and understand that, understand that jealousy

But in the end, I'm just a nobody for them. For how much I care for them, it can only go on for so much, yeah I realise my part in their life. But going through all of this, I finally learned something. It doesn't matter who you are, or how much you can do. What really matters is that you DO something, and not just crossing your arms saying that you wish you can do something to help but the truth is that you're too lazy to even try. It's an important lesson to learn, and it gave me a new perspective in life, which I needed so badly recently

So like yeah. I'm gonna change my attitude. I will no longer ignore them to die in my own loneliness, instead I'm gonna reach out and listen to many people as I can, and just try, try to make everyone happy in this world...

Hahaha, it may sound a bit cliche' or whatever, but coming to such realization doesn't seem so bad after all. Perhaps, I can truly be a teacher, and not waste my life before like I thought that I did before. Like Umar would say to me that never fails to make my day, "Go Ayahsu Go" *scroll upward to see the child mentioned*

Looks like this post is not entirely on jealousy after all. To both of that my friend, whatever happen next, just be happy okay? I can't bear to see you both get sad anymore

Aduh, balik rumah je dah start kena buat kerja rumah lah, jadi driver hantar2 orang lah, babysit bebudak lah, but oh well, home sweet home~