Where Did All the Cats in My Life Had Gone To?


I wonder, where did all the cats in my had gone to? Before I realized it, it seems that I'm lonely again. Hahahaha~ Oh hey, what's the cat gotta do with your loneliness, one might say. And sure enough, in one of these days, I will just get bored with answering all these little questions which answers won't means much to any one of us unless you know the story itself

So like, wanna hear what's up with me and cats? Sure you do, if you will still read until the last of the page scroll, won't you? Haha I doubt that, being the pessimist that I am. Yeah, another fact about me people


I was not born in some deranged or abnormal or grieve-stricken family, like the one you can see portrayed in The Simpsons, haha heck I love that series. And I did not grew up get beaten senseless in every way every day that I had to learn to breathe by force and not naturally. I'm fine thank you, even though that they told me that I'm a slow talker, that by the age of 3 something I still didn't mutter a word, which would pass me as a mute, right? But that didn't happen, Alhamdulillah

But for some inexplicable and unexplainable reason, I was alone. Huh. I was born in the 1990, a so-called prosperous year, well someone I can't remember said that. However, in the lineage of sibling in the family, I came out real late, technically. I was born 14 years after the last sister is born, and even that is late considering that my eldest sister at that time is already pushing 30 years old, and heck, my first nephew was born 2 month after me, by that very eldest sis

And so, I grew up all alone in the house with only me, my mum and my dad. Being the youngest, and in the time where my dad is already retired from the army, surely you can guess how terribly pampered I am back in the days. However still, it doesn't help a bit at all to kill the loneliness. Two of my eldest sister was living with their own family in KL at that time, my one and only brother at that time were still missing since even before the day that I was born, and the youngest sis was studying at Warwick by that time

But hey, I'm in a big family after all. I got loads of them cousins, a million from my mother's side of the family, and another million from my dad's. If I went back to Guar Chempedak, all of us would be playing very cool traditional games like gasing, congkak, guli, and the coolest of all, meriam buloh, or bamboo cannon, directly translated. And I can still remember all of us playing wrestling together that the old people got mad of because of how much the rotten old house would be shaking like earthquakes, playing firecracker so much that the kampung neighbourhood got annoyed at so much, and the one that I missed the most, sleeping together at the floor, all of us of about ten people or so all huddled up together, binded by each other's sweet dreams...

But still, there's this some shit that is called a family feud that will somehow affects my relationships with all of my cousins, and even more so now that we are all grown up. Back then, I can only meet up with my cousins whenever there is a school holiday, and our meeting is only limited to that only, since I live faraway. So here I am, back to square one, back to the corner of my tiny square room in No 13 Light Residence, Jitra, gazing at the rain splashing over my window pane, wishing for someone to keep me company...

As fate have it, one day, one stray cat wandered into my house, and somehow she had decided to stay there. And since its my first experience of ever meeting a cat, I called her Meow. However, I don't know why that at that time, perhaps being a kid that I am, I frequently tortured her. With a Chinese neighbour that is two or three year older than me, we did many horrible stuff to her that still sometimes leaves me feeling guilty. However, she was still stuck in my house, perhaps because we still feed her, I guess

Then, one days, her stomach suddenly got bigger all of a sudden. Then, I learned that she was pregnant, and I'm going to witness my first ever cat's labour experience that a million more will come soon afterwards, however let's focus on this one first. By this time, she only stayed in one place, which is in my room, and I already stopped doing bad things to her. And then, one day it rained cats and dogs, from Subuh it started and never slowed down for the next few hours. And she gave birth in my room, under my bed. My mom told me to bring the cat outside and put the kitten somewhere else, despite the fact that I had never touched a kitten before

There's only one kitten, and I carried it by my unexperienced hand. Then the small one slipped from my hand, and I felt a sudden squishy something by my feet that felt very warm. Then I realized, I had stepped on the kitten. Only the head remained recognizable, while the body was completely destroyed. I can see the freaking intestines, which I didn't know that by the time. And the blood, that bloody pool of blood gushing out everywhere, soaking the carpet that it fell upon...

Damn, words aren't enough to justify such a gore that had kept me awake at nights, giving me frequent nightmares since I was 7 years old...

But the worse wasn't that, no. The mother was around, and soon after she started sniffing around the body. After a while of seemingly futile effort of reviving her kitten, she carried her kitten outside, where it was raining. And until she arrived at the gate, the rain splashing over the roadside to wet both her and her kitten, she put down the kitten. Then, she started mewing, while gazing at the rain. Gazing at the rain... The sound of her mewing non-stop, abruptly mixed with the sound of falling rain, plus that the sky looks, simply blue, blue all over covering the atmosphere like I'm in a twilight zone or something. This is the image that is forever etched in my memory...

That's the first time that I ever cried. The first time I cried not because I feel hurt or I'm hungry or whatever because its natural for me at that time, but because I'm genuinely sad. I felt it in my heart, I felt the way the cat lost her precious one, seeing her that resembles crying in the rain. This is the turning point in my life, the very first one way before I reached puberty. Starting from that day, I cared for the cats, like an obsessed man for his lover. After the first painful birth, Meow gave birth to a thousand more cats for so many generations, seven birth overall I think. And each time I watched her gave birth, cared for her looking for a place for her to deliver safely, and each kitten I cared for until they are even bigger than their mom

If I were to tell all the stories of all the cats that had filled my life with meaning and company, I don't think it won't fit this one blogsphere. And it will hold less meaning, less justification for them as the story is even bigger than life, it is a part of me. No words can be put up together so beautifully that it can reflects how I felt around these cats for the last 7 or 8 years of my life...


So there you go. If you want to know why I adores cat so much, strain your eyes, kill the desire to just go away because this post is just so goddamn long, and read till you puke. Hahahaha~ Peace

Oh, I can write this long after all :P

Kelas baru agak best dan serabut in every sense of way haha. Dan dia adalah sangat kerek dengan aku, dan dia bukan sekelas dengan aku...


  1. Fyi, I love cats too.
    My friends would tell you I'm too obsessed with them that they even began to think I was a cat myself.
    This story touched me.
    I'll soon write my cat story in my blog too.. =)

  2. Phew~~! What a very long post!

    I couldn't remember how and when did I fall in love with cats. Despite my obsession to cats, there was a dark side of it. Once I tortured a cat named Chicky. It was my neighbour's pet cat. I hated him so I thought I need to do some kinda revenge to his belonging, which was his cat that coincidentally passing through our house.

    I punched that cat a great deal I tell you. Nothing can beat the satisfaction of punching a cat straight to its face. Then I slapped, slapped, and slapped, back and forth using the palm and the back of my hand alternately, like painting a wall of a house. The poor Chicky meowed the chorus "help me!! help me!! help!!" but I thought that none of his friends were going to help him for sure. Poor cat. When satisfaction struck, I let him go.

    Chicky died two months later.

  3. i love cats.i hate loneliness...

  4. to Asuka
    Oh wow, haha and I thought I'm the only one here
    I'm glad that it did, waiting for your story then! :)

    to Pok Deng
    arghh man, you one sick bastard. Thank God you changed your ways and became obsessed with cats +_+

    to nasiha
    yeah, I can understand that...