Here We Go Again

She used to be so vibrant, so cheerful, so beautiful. She has this really enchanting smile, the lips curved just enough to draw anyone in to her. The way she spoke with such confidence that you feel so alive just by having a simple chat with her. And she didn't lack heart either, always generous with greetings and smiles and poking other people urging them to smile with her and share the happiness

She made me happier. She made me smile more. She made me use the word "love" more often. She taught me that you're not alone in this world, and there really are someone who really cares about you

Yet, everything changes. Somehow I feel like she's no longer the happy person that she used to be. Everytime I look through her eyes, I can feel sadness lingering there. Even when she's laughing with her friends, there'll always be a short moment of deep silence filling in between her laughs. The saddest of all, those vibrant smiles seems to be lost, only to be replaced with the sad sad ones

I know that part of the blame is on me. I was the one who had hurt her terribly, I was the one who negated all her possibilities. Foolishness and anger took control over me, and time and again we ended up in a spiral of hurt and regret. Until everything falls apart, and somehow the gap created between us has been too big to cover up already

If I could give away anything just to have everything to be back the way they used to be, then I would. If all it takes for her to be happy again is for me to just fade away, then I would readily oblige