Burn Memories, Burnnnnnn~

Why people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?
-Spuntnik Sweetheart-

Thought numero uno~
A recent conversation with a few friend that I can consider to be quite close to me had made me realize that people sometime can't fathom whatever I wrote either here or at my Facebook. Given that most people are already having difficulties in hearing me right since I have this confusing mixed-up accent of Utara plus the KLlites and a bit of Kelantanese and God knows what else, to know that people can't even comprehend whatever I write is kinda, sad in some sense. Perhaps it shouldn't be that way, since I had insisted once upon a time that I wished to be enigmatic in order to hide my feelings. I guess I just naturally absorbed such mentality that it had already became my personality. Oh well it might not be so bad after all, since yeah, people won't know what I'm really feeling inside, agonizingly suffering or euphorically grateful, only people that I truly love will know who I really am and I recognize them that way. While in Facebook, people can't really see and fathom the intricately worded yelling and screaming and insult that I throw at the world and a few intended people, should they know what it really meant then I would be dead meat. Plus there was this one really attractive and beautiful girl that said I am kinda mysterious and intriguing, and I suddenly became proud of myself for being such a cool and enigmatic guy hahahaha~

I bet you guys don't even know what the heck I just wrote up there. Too long and just crap and bullshit. Moving on to the second thought...

Thought numero dos~
I've been reading a few of my older posts lately. I don't know why, perhaps this is what they call soul searching? Or perhaps I was just bored, thinking of finding something of interest that somehow I had already forgotten. One thing I did found out however, is that my writing sucks as hell back then. Should the writer had been someone else and not me, I'd be laughing my backside off and jab endlessly at it for being so freaking lame and boring. I guess I've grown up, and had learned a lot since then. The way I view the world, the one that I love, though these doesn't change much, I guess I had somehow adapted, I'd take and give back adequately

I won't say that I'm much of a matured person already, but yeah learning is a neverending experience. Perhaps some time in the future, should this blog still exists, I will read this exact post, and perhaps I will then, laugh my backside off and jab endlessly at it for being so freaking lame and boring

And sighed for how I wished that I'd be more happy and grateful for being alive like how I am then. Perhaps...

Thought numero tres~
This past few week since the last Raya holiday had been like hell. With drama the next week, and field trip and so many more presentation, speech, tests, assignments, etcetera etcetera, I feel like bombing this place to smithereens. I wonder just how I can even find some time to even write this post, though yeah you can already tell that I'm a bit exaggerating here. But still, with not so much sleep, and a lot of pressure from the drama practice, one can't help but just to be so tense 24 hours a day. I wonder, does it really reflect on my personality, my behavior? Since I realized that my drama teammates and me can't find it in ourselves the strength nor the will to smile at each other. I feel like whatever I was feeling during the Asasian drama is happening again, where we are hating each other...

I seriously hope that all of this will end soon. I seriously need to know that all of this misunderstanding actually stems from all the current pressure. Not because of me, of my weakness as a human, as a friend, and as teammate...

the last cat that was as manja as this one is Etong~
damn, I miss Etong so much...

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