Beaver Crossing

Salam. I wonder what will happen in my life if I was given guitar or piano instead of books? It's not that I'm not being grateful or whatsoever, but like I said before, I'm just wondering

I used to draw so much back then. I've been known to be the master when it comes to drawing Ultraman and his brothers. But I can't remember when did I ever stopped drawing Ultraman that I can no longer do so, and since when I feel so disgusted with my own drawing that I stopped drawing anything at all

I love to take pictures so much. I can still remember when I was so little then, I always get excited when my dad and my sister were using that very big Nikon camera that look so sophisticated and expensive that I never get a chance to hold it. Unfortunately, I still don't have any camera of my own until now, and I'm just stuck on relying on my own imagination and my forgetful mind

When I was a little child, it is so easy to fall in love with the world, because everything seems so beautiful. The lovely sounds that can be heard every morning, the sight of cat chasing after butterflies, the way everyone seems to be smiling at you. And that time also, dreams and hopes are the most sweet and fulfilling thing that could ever happen to you

Here's what I hoped to achieve in life when I was 7 years old or so~
- I want to be a fire-fighter
- I want to perform Hajj in Mekah with my parent
- I want to go to Paris, or somewhere in Europe's countryside
- I want to learn to play piano and guitar and compose my own song
- I want to paint something that make people go 'Wow'
- I want to write my own story book that can make people shed tears and also laugh along to
- I want to find myself the one girl that I love so much and have the most romantic story that I weave together with her on our own
- I want to be happy and smile everyday

It all sounds so naive yet that is what makes it all so meaningful to a child with all the possibilities of the future in front of him. And how exuberant and confident I had felt that day, thinking that I will be able to achieve all my goals in life someday...

13 years or so have passed me by, leaving that child in me behind it all. Together with the dreams and hopes, forgotten, like an old book in the deepest corner of an ancient library...

Last night, I went to McD with Zach to stay there overnight. As luck have it, I saw her again where it is the last place and time I ever thought of seeing her again. Still, as usual, she avoided looking at me, ignoring me as usual. She even took the trouble of going over to Zach to say hi at him, while really carefully making sure that she doesn't look at my direction, like I never existed at all

Like I care, even when it hurts so much. This shall be the last time I shall ever write about her in this blog, as I know that she hated me for doing so, though I'll always think of her like I always do

Beaver crossing, cause I'm such a memerang

Aku nampak dia study Literature dan Linguistics, sumpah aku terasa yang aku masih tak ready untuk final exam nanti~ Study study~~~


  1. i wanted to be a vet when i was that age :D i had a very wild imagination as a child. i even had my own imaginary friend, super weird kan? :P

  2. haha aihh no lahh
    that's like, super duper damn cool :P

  3. back then, i wanted to become a sailor.. but im sea sick.. lol.. i used to draw much too.. and still doing it till now.. but one thing for sure.. i was never excited when the time comes for picture taking.. i just dont like it.. and concerning her.. let her be la.. it doesnt concer u pn.. pape pn it's her loss okie.. chill dude..

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Hmm it seems that you are my saviour during hard times. I find myself reading your blog each time I come online, usually when on the brink of insanity. Your writing pulls me back to here. Now.

    Anyway, heeey, that last few lines remind me of a poem I'm studying, SO similar. Hehehe.

    Omaigod, you should totally read it! Want? :D

  6. haha thanks a lot for commenting sai, that means a lot
    n thanks for the advice, yeah, ill try

    to nad
    wow, never thought that my writing can do such a thing for u, im glad :))

  7. Hahahah~ i too used to dream like u did when i was small...nak draw something that wow ppl, nak blaja piano, tp x dpt pon... bleh~

  8. wah.camnih orang tulis blog ghuupanya ?ngahahaha..stady hard bro...still a long journey in lifee..chaiyoookk.