Salam. What do you guys perceive me as?...
After two years had passed me by, all this time that she had ignored me because of what I had done to her, all this time that I cherished her memories and live in regret... Finally she had opened up to me again, and are no longer avoiding me. I'm gonna use this chance wisely to atone for my sins, all the mistakes that I had done to her
All that crying when she was suddenly alone, I'm no longer by her side... I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for doing that to her. I guess perhaps this is the reason why the same thing is happening to me right now, its just like karma, what goes around, comes around
I'm so glad to see that she is still like what she used to be, and now she's even matured than before and more God-fearing, Alhamdulillah. She's still cheery as ever, and optimistic even though the pressure of her upcoming exam is getting to her nerve. I like that about her, that's what I had always liked about her, it is somehow some kind of my inspiration back then haha
Then, she said to me that Ariff dah tak emo macam dulu, and I was like, haha seriously I'm not that emo guy you say? Plus she said that nanti jadi cikgu takleh emo-emo, the kids will hate me later on haha. Then suddenly it stuck me like an idea, that I can be better than this. I can become a better person and be this very optimistic guy who doesn't get angry at every single misfortune that I'm afflicted with. Because of this behaviour, I had always felt alone and hurt many people that I care
She showed to me indirectly that I should really look upon life with positive attitude, like how I'm used to back then with her. Yeah, perhaps I should really, really forget about this girl that I had loved so much before, and now had hated me for some reason unknown. Since she's always in my mind before, its no wonder people kept calling me emo, as I would always put up a sad face, lingering around the faculty, putting an ugly, miserable face for a show for people passing by
Thanks, Farah. You showed up again in my life as a miracle for the second time. You taught me many things during that 3 months, and now you taught me something else very important though indirectly. You're the very first person ever to say that I'm sweet, and you're the reason that I am who I am today, free to be myself and not be constrained by the fat bastard that I always see in the mirror...
Twice I had fallen in love with two people that I know should have stayed as friend, but still I followed my feelings and get hurt in the end, and them too. Really, I don't think I deserve to fall in love with another person anymore hahaha XD
I should gather a gazillion friends, but never a lover. Love certainly is not my theme in life, it seems
Sahur hari ini dekat McD, makan McFlurry, Quarter Pounder, dan Bubur Ayam McD. Sumpah kenyang sampai Maghrib nanti XDDD