The Black Cat with Eyes Coloured Like The Brightest Orange In The World

Salam. Its almost near the end, Ramadhan is, and Raya will be coming soon. So perhaps I should start wishing everybody Hari Raya from now on, and start asking for forgiveness from everyone. That's a lot to be asked for, especially from a jerk like me, but still, Raya is all about forgiveness, aite?

Thanks for everything my friend
You're the only that I can trust, you're the one that's willing to listen
Even when you decided to push me away, you still cared for me
And I can't thank you enough for everything
I love you...

Listening to Ira's group presentation of Paranoia or something during Counseling class made me realize that I'm kind of paranoid and monophobic all this while before, which is kind of scary. This is one reason why I always feel uneasy when I'm in this class, as I always had something that I can relate to myself with all the situations and the scenarios...

Counseling never talks about happy gay euphoric people that smiles all day and insist of the glass being half-full, so yeah

And then another realization kicks in. Somehow, its all just seems to be a thing in a past, well at least a part of it. It seems that even with all the loneliness and the sorrow, all the things that I had witnessed and pondered upon, nineteen years of my life felt like so short. And in a peculiar way, in a way that I can't explain why with just words, I think I have changed a lot during these two years after SPM and in the same time, nothing has changed, nothing at all, both at the same time

One thing for sure, being one of the Asasi Teslians is the biggest change that has ever happened to my life, to my personality, to my view of life, to the way I carry myself in the society. I still had regret about going against my father's wish of seeing me go studying overseas and just stayed here in Shah Alam. Thus, I can't really say that I'm grateful for making this choice, but still... I really don't know what will become of me if I didn't stay here, whether I will be worse than before or better than now...

The road not taken eh? You guys remember that, the poem for literature during what form I can't remember? Where it is about two choices in life, one being the one people normally choose, and the other is what people normally avoid. I guess I had at least once in my life taken the road less taken, to make that difficult choice, heh

Even with the scars of the past journey that still hurts, the thorn that I had endured on this road less taken had made me a stronger person, to be a better man

I can only pray to Allah that I never strayed from the true path in believing in everything that I had wrote previously here in this post. Pray that I can continue learning about this life, understand more about my myself, train myself to be obedient to Allah to fulfill my duty as the khalifah in this world. Pray that I never stray, pray that I don't become just a hypocrite by the end, pray that I never succumb to the darkness again...

This is truly the most meaningful Ramadhan of my life yet, and I'm truly grateful, Alhamdulillah :)

Spontan adalah sangat-sangat best, walaupun tiru konsep Whose Line Is It Anyway, Afdlin Shauki dan yang lain terutamanya Din Beramboi berjaya membuatkan aku gelak-gelak sampai senak-senak habis perut XDDD