The Great Goodbye

here they went by. All of them were gone, leaving memories and stuff behind. Yeah, today the 16th of November all of the juniors fled the MJSC Beseri for their long awaited holiday. And so it happen, the parting of ways of me and all of those guys, nice people, damn freaking deja vu. Here I am again, feeling all so lonely just again, after so long I have found peace in having lots of friend again around me. Of course, all the blood brothers, my Batchmate is still here with me, raging on with the battle of SPM, and hell they are lot of fun, now that we only have each other. But still, it still a sad remainder of the great goodbye I have to face soon. When SPM's over, it will be the beginning of my dark era again, the era of my own loneliness.

This will be my third great goodbye. What I meant by the great goodbye is when I left school and almost all of my friend that I knew. Once, in my standard six, and second, just after my short reign of form four in SMKJ. During these times, I just left everyone without any contacting number or such, and simply never sees them again. Back then, I only get so well along with just a few friend, and it didn't hurt much then. But MJSC Beseri makes all the difference. The first time ever I experience hostel life, the first time I really got to know about life, the place that took me to a better understanding of the beauty of Islam, the place that broke my antisocial shell and made me a lot better person that I used to be. This will be my third great goodbye. It will be the worst.

What I regretted most about this, even after three great goodbye, I still can't brace myself to tell the one the truth. This year, I found the one, the one that really captures my attention, who have beauty with iman hard-embedded upon her image, whose intelligent really impressed me. But no, I just scared off the answer, afraid of myself, afraid of the rejection, yet again. As I catch a last glimpse of her, I prayed to Allah to keep her healthy and to be happy in life. Now I realised that I will never be able to see her again, never to look into that beautiful dark eyes...

I hate it when I have nothing to do. It makes me think a lot. I will never see her again, but sometimes I just think that if I'm a lot braver person then, be able to tell her and maybe things will be different. Sometimes when I'm all alone, I would ask myelf. What would you do if there's another time? What would you do if you see her again?

Well, no point now.

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