Monster

Ahhh, another drama unfolding in just a short period of just two weeks. Reminder, when I say drama, please don't think of it as 'drama', where shit happens, this and that, bla3 like in the TV soap drama. What I mean to say is there's so much happening here right now.

I had always known of my own anger, the length and tha aptitude of it. How I can just explode and burst out in an instant away. Through the years of my life's course, I've seen me hurting people all the way because of my anger. And sometimes, I can't help but to wander, is it the reason why I have been alone all this while? When I'm with my family, sometimes I just ended being a corner somewhere minding my own business. When I'm walking with friends, I always find myself to be at the back of the group, left out of all discussion taking place

Yeah, I've been known to be quite the shouter and the curser when I lost it. For that very reason I've lost some good friend. Though most of them I managed to get apology from, still, I will always feel regret for hurting them, especially for the one that I didn't manage to say sorry to. I feel like a monster, hurting everyone that ever get close to me. O Allah, why did my anger can't be controlled? Maybe I'm to blame myself, for not reciting holy verses that I could learn, but always being procrastinate to learn it

And I never sit down, when I need to do it most

To Pak Din, Zack, Amri, Izo, I don't know if you guys do read my blog, but I just wanna tell you guys that I'm really sorry for bursting out at you guys. Especially Zack, eventhough you cracked me with your stupid acts, but I had done some stupid things to you also. I'm not in the place to be angry with you guys at all, I just don't have the right. I'm a weak person, and I'm still learning. Sorry, for shouting at you guys that night, and for avoiding you all ever since

If not, I don't know if I can't stand the loneliness again

Exam dh nak abeh, napa lah time nih perangai lama aku nk jadi balik? Oh rumahku...