He glanced at his watch, while squinting a bit towards the window to see the raindrops falling downwards the surface of the pane. For a moment, he thought of running towards the door, putting on the slippers of unknown origin and, and, and just dance in the rain? He shook his head, let out a sigh and duly dropped his body on the couch.

The laptop was playing Yuna's Lullabies on loop since the earliest of morning, much to the annoyance of his housemates. The oily plastics and rolling straws served as a remainder of a rare early breakfast, which he took no notice of. He didn't know exactly what was he really waiting for, or whether it was just his tardy nature in working. Other than the iTunes playing on his laptop, her Facebook page was also on a tab of his Chrome. He barely clicked much on that particular tab, but somehow he couldn't just close it for good. He felt restless, he kept glancing at the watch that wasn't his, he counted on the number of the raindrops as if such an activity was so riveting that it demanded his full attention. He used to sing along to Yuna's Lullabies, but then it had been repeated for so long that it had become mere noise to him.

He clicked on the tab of her Facebook page, though upon clicking it he immediately turned his head again towards the window. His mind raced, working out a conclusion to the simple questions he asked himself that he knew the answers to. He diligently repeated this process for some time, at times got distracted to counting the number of raindrops and sometimes 9gag, until he decided to close the tabs and to close the laptop. He stood up, facing straight towards the window that had been his object of divided attention before.

"You know, I really hate the rain."

He once said that to her during one of their late night conversations, which she rebuked by saying that it is not good to say such a thing, as rain provides us the same as air or sun would. He never knew what was her own opinion of rain, other than the rebuttal, as he didn't feel the curiosity was strong enough for him to ask her. But that day, it seemed to be of vital significance. He felt a desperate need to know it. After three years, after all that had happened, somehow it became important. And it is not just that particular question that he he wants to know, but so many other things about her. There's so much he wanted to ask her, and there's also so much he wanted to hear from her.

But he knew the words won't come. Neither from him, nor her. With such revelation, which wasn't such a revelation at the same time, he felt a sudden heavy feeling overcoming his body and his heart. As he stood there, he felt like the lights inside him just flew out of his body, leaving only darkness inside him. He choked a little, struggling to breathe so much that he can hear his own faint heartbeats. His head felt like exploding, and he can't help to gasp out a noise, an exasperated noise of some sort. Then he laughed. He laughed, harder and harder, and tears came strolling out of his eyes, like some sort of dam water being suddenly released. He laughed, he cried, he yelled, and as the rain seemed to only get heavier and louder, so did this sudden outburst of emotions of his.

When he calmed down a little, he raised his hands, and examined the scars on his left hand. He smiled, a smile laden with fresh warm tears all over his face that felt all natural to him at that point. The heaviness that he experienced a while ago vanished, and it was as if the cool air around him started to fill his body to replace the heaviness. Silence gripped his senses, and for a while, it felt like home to him. It felt like the world to him, that space between him and the eternity beyond.

Slowly he dragged his feet to the door, opened it, and put on the slippers that he had realized that once belonged to a dear friend that he had forgotten to return back. Slowly he got to the point of between the earth that was being showered by the heavy rain, and the earth that was covered by the house that he had been living for about two or three years. He took a step towards the rain, and piercing cold jet-speed rain droplets spearheaded his skin with no mercy. However, the body got used to it after a few seconds, and suddenly the coldness was all familiar and affectionate to him.

Closing his eyes, he put his head towards the sky, and stretched his hands as outwardly as he could, his body in such a position as if he was a sunflower baring itself open wide to receive the sunlight from above. He turned his body, slow at first, then faster, and faster, and faster.

He smiled. The world don't matter anymore. The harsh reality was no more. The pain reduced to a mere primal feeling, as insignificant as hunger or sleepiness. Nothing.


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