Of H1N1 and TESL Students

Salam. Heard the news? The whole of UiTM Shah Alam have been released from duty and classes for a whole week because of the H1N1 outbreak here. So I'll be back at Jitra anytime soon, after I get my hand on the hard to get and elusive one way ticket to Kedah

Oh, by the way, by the time that continued writing this post, I already got my ticket hoho. I never really expected to get a ticket for tonight, for so many people are going back and supposedly there's only ticket for tomorrow. God bless the Golden Diamond hoho~

Earlier this morning, I went to the Getting 2 Know U event held by the Ethos group, and it was such a blast haha. This is, like, the first time ever since I enrolled in here that I truly feel glad to be alive and to be taking TESL in Shah Alam. I get to know more of the people from the other group, plus some of the Asasians and some of the seniors. And I also started to get along well with my groupmates where I should have been doing that way before haha

Someone said to me, that this day was so meaningful for her. And yeah, I guess the feeling's mutual for me. When I see the people smiling and having the time of their life, I felt really ashamed of myself. Being a Teslians, they somehow always try to be open-minded in their life and not to worry much about other problems. They somehow seem able to manage to keep that smile on their face and just be like themselves. And here I am, known as the emo guy who hardly smiles and people are so afraid of talking to me just because I looked miserable at best (Mayday Parade, look it up ^^)

Guess I'd better start smiling more often myself, turn over a new leaf. Though my bitter experience taught me not to, and this bloody headache that just won't go away... Or I can just bang my head to make it go away, because I never believe in Panadol

Irony of the day is, I found myself that I can no longer trust her anymore. Plus, it really seems like she won't even care anymore, even though that she had said before to me that she is really afraid of losing my trust. I guess its better for both of us I think, after all I had burdened her with all my problems without her gaining anything. She must think that I'm crazy right now, and by the way that she seems to be avoiding me, especially today, during the Ethos' event... The very thing that I'm most afraid of when I first started to open up to her

I know, I should never trust anyone with myself, its never a happy ending. Now I can never be friends with her like I'm used to, and it hurt me so because I have come to care so much for her... Oh well, I broke my own vow of to not to trust anyone, and now I'm regretting it, but there's nothing else to do or say

There goes the first ever friend that I consider my only best friend that I ever had. I just hope that she's the first, and also the last one, so that no one else will ever get hurt by me, a jerk of a human being...

Aku hampir2 balik guna keretapi KTM haha. Dah lama dah aku tak naik keretapi, rindu la jugak~